Teachers used to convey information to the students. However, with the wide spread of information now, the role of teachers is no longer needed. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In this essay, I am going to discuss about the topic of ifwhether teachers are still needed or no longer needed. There are many things we needfactors to consider when we think about this question. With the internet and all informations available everywhere, some people think that teachers' jobs are useless. I will talk aboutexplain why I disagree with this idea. Firstly, even though students can find lots of informations on the internet by themselves, but they still need someone to guide them and help them understand it. Teachers are not just for giving informations, but also for explaining things in thea way that students will understand. If students just read something online, they might not really know what it means or how to use that knowledge. ButHowever, teachers can help them to realtruly learn and remember the informations. Secondly, teachers can also help students to develop other skills that are important for their future, likesuch as critical thinking, problem-solving, teamwork, and communication skills. These things cannot be learned just by reading online. Students need someone with experience to show them how to do these things and give them a chance to practice. Without teachers, students will not have the opportunity to learn these valuable skills that will help them in their future careers and life.ves. In conclusion, while it is true that informations are is more easily available nowadays with technology, but I believe that teachers still play a very important role in education. They are not just for giving informations, but also for guiding students, helping them understand, and developing other important skills. Therefore, I disagree with the idea that teachers' jobs are no longer needed in today's world.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument against the notion that teachers are no longer needed, which is a key strength. The structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and lexical resource. The use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to improve the flow of ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving word forms, and enhancing clarity in phrasing. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include providing specific examples or evidence to support claims about the role of teachers and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and argumentative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'teachers job are useless'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition (e.g., 'informations', 'teacher', 'student'). Additionally, some word forms are incorrect (e.g., 'informations' should be 'information', 'teachers job' should be 'teachers' jobs'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct word forms.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by arguing against the idea that teachers are no longer needed. However, it lacks a clear thesis statement and some points could be more fully developed. For improvement, the writer could provide specific examples or evidence to support their claims about the role of teachers.
6.0

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