Technology is important for education. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, technology has become more and more important in our lifeves, especially oin the field of education field. sSome people think that technology is very important for education, while others may disagree. In my oppinion, I strongly agree that technology plays a crucial role in education. Firstly, technology can make learning more interesting and engaging. For example, with the help of multimedia tools like videos, animations, and interactive simulations, students can better understand complex concepts and ideas. tThis can make learning more fun and enjoyable, and students will be more motivated to learn. aAdditionally, technology can also provides students with access to a wealth of information and resources that they may not have access to otherwise. Secondly, technology can also help teachers to teach more effectively. For instance, teachers can use technology to create personalized learning experiences for their students. bBy using data analytics tools, teachers can track student progress and identify areas where students may need additional support. This can help teachers to tailor their teaching to the needs of individual students, and ensure that all students are able to succeed. While there may be some challenges associated with integrating technology into education, I believe that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. In conclusion, I strongly believe that technology is very important for education. It can make learning more interesting and engaging for students, and help teachers to teach more effectively. While there may be some challenges associated with integrating technology into education, I believe that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position in favour of technology in education, which is a key strength. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the use of multimedia tools and data analytics, but could benefit from acknowledging counterarguments more explicitly for a more balanced view. Critical areas for improvement include enhancing coherence and cohesion through smoother transitions between ideas and reducing repetitive phrases. The grammatical range and accuracy need attention, particularly with spelling and capitalization errors that detract from clarity. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving capitalization, and enhancing transitions between paragraphs. Additionally, the repetitive phrase 'technology can also' was varied to improve lexical richness. Further improvements could include explicitly addressing counterarguments and providing more varied vocabulary to enhance the overall lexical resource. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced; for instance, transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve overall coherence.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors, such as 'Nowdays' (should be 'Nowadays'), 'some people think' (should start with a capital letter), and inconsistent capitalization (e.g., 'this' should be 'This'). These errors affect the overall accuracy and clarity of the writing.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'multimedia tools,' 'personalized learning experiences,' and 'data analytics.' However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'technology can also,' which could be replaced with synonyms or varied expressions to enhance lexical richness.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position in favor of technology in education. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the use of multimedia tools and data analytics. However, it could be improved by acknowledging counterarguments more explicitly and providing a more balanced view.
7.5

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