Thanking a friend for a holiday You have recently stayed with an old friend for a few days. You hadn't seen each other for a long time. Write a letter to the friend. In your letter: -say how you feel about the visit -refer to something enjoyable that you did while staying with him/her -invite your friend to visit you
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear expression of gratitude, recounting enjoyable experiences, and extending an invitation, which effectively addresses the task requirements. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the use of cohesive devices to enhance flow. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and breaking down lengthy sentences for better readability. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more and using a wider range of vocabulary. The tone used is generally appropriate for a friendly letter, but it could be slightly more formal in certain areas to match the context better.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical structure, with clear sections for expressing feelings, recounting enjoyable experiences, and extending an invitation. However, some sentences are lengthy and could be broken down for better readability. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, using 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' to connect ideas would enhance the flow. Overall, while the ideas are present, the coherence could be strengthened.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures, such as 'I enjoyed stay in your house' instead of 'I enjoyed staying in your house'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors affects the overall quality. To improve, practice using varied sentence structures and ensure grammatical accuracy.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors, such as 'you're' instead of 'your' and 'allways' instead of 'always'. The phrase 'very interested to Art' should be 'very interested in Art'. To improve, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and checking for spelling errors.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by expressing gratitude for the visit, mentioning enjoyable activities, and inviting the friend to visit. However, the tone is slightly informal for a letter of this nature, and there are some awkward phrases that could be improved for clarity. For example, 'you're warm welcome' should be 'your warm welcome'. To improve, focus on maintaining a consistent tone and ensuring clarity in expression.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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