The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995 to 2002.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The charts is showing about the three types of phone calls in billions of minutes in the United Kingdom from 1995 to 2002. It havThey include local fixed calls, national and international fixed calls, and calls from mobil.e phones. For local fixed calls, it startinged at around 72 billions minutes in 1995. It going upincreased to 90 billions minutes in 1999. Then it, before dropping to just over 70 billions minutes in 2002. Second one The second category showings national and international fixed calls. This onecategory startinged below 40 billions minutes in 1995. It gowing up small bit evry and grew slightly each year, reaching about 61 billions minutes in 2002. Calls from mobil is showing bige phones showed a significant increase from 1995 to 2002. It startinged very small, at almost 4 billions minutes in 1995. Then it going up evr, and then increased dramatically year very big jumpch year, reaching over 45 billions minutes in 2002. Overall, local fixed calls changing a lot but come back almost samefluctuated but returned to a similar level by 2002. Fixed calls going slow up. Mincreased slowly, while mobile calls gowing very fast andrew rapidly, becoming the second biglargest type of calls inby 2002.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task and presents the data in a structured manner. 1. Key strengths of the essay include a clear attempt to describe the trends in telephone calls and a logical structure that separates different categories of calls. 2. Critical areas for improvement involve addressing spelling errors, grammatical inaccuracies, and enhancing coherence through better transitions and topic sentences. The use of precise language and accurate data representation is also necessary. 3. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing clarity in the description of trends. The introduction was slightly rephrased for clarity, and transitions between paragraphs were improved. 4. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding the vocabulary range and varying sentence structures to enhance grammatical range and accuracy. 5. The tone used is appropriate for an academic report, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout the writing.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. There are instances of unclear transitions, such as 'Second one showing natnal and internatnal fix cals.' Improved use of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences would enhance the overall coherence. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast' or 'Additionally' could help link ideas more effectively.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates some grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('It have local fix cals') and incorrect verb forms ('It going up,' 'droping'). These errors affect the clarity of the message. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb forms and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Additionally, varying sentence structures could enhance the grammatical range.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'typs,' 'cals,' 'billons,' 'gowing') that detract from the overall quality. The writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling to enhance clarity. For instance, using 'types' instead of 'typs' and 'billion' instead of 'billons' would improve accuracy.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by describing the bar chart and the trends in telephone call categories. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains inaccuracies, such as 'local fix cals changing a lot but come back almost same,' which could be more precisely articulated. To improve, the writer should ensure that all data points are accurately represented and provide a clearer summary of the overall trends.
5.0

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