The bar chart compares the recycling rates of four different kinds of waste material in a city, from 1992 to 2002. Percentage of different types of waste recycled.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The given bar chart shows data about how muchthe percentage of four types of waste material iss that are recycled in a city. The data is covers a ten-years period from 1992 to 2002. Looking at the overall trend, recycling has been increased for all four types of wastes over the decade shown. The recycling rates of cardboard and aluminium are higher than theose of plastic and glass wastes. In 1992, the recycling proportion of cardboard waste iwas around 55% and is, making it the highest of the four. The second highest recycling rate in 1992 iwas aluminium, with nearly 25%. ButIn contrast, plastic and glass recycling started much lower, withat approximately 5% and 12% respectively. By 2002, cardboard recycling increasesd significieantly to reach 80%, and aluminium also reachose to 45%. Glass recycling improvesd to around 30% atby the end of the decade. However, even in 2002, the plastic recycling rate still stayremained below 20%, despite an improvement from the starting point. In conclusion, the chart indicatinges that recycling rates for all four waste materials increased over the 10 ten-year period in the city, with cardboatrd and aluminium having the highest recycling rates, while plastic stayremained the lowest even by 2002.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the recycling rates of four types of waste materials over a decade, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear overview of the trends. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing clarity and detail in data presentation, as well as correcting grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Structural changes made include correcting verb tenses and ensuring consistent terminology, such as changing 'waste material' to 'waste materials.' Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating more specific comparisons and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic report, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are slightly awkward, which affects the overall coherence. For example, the transition between the years could be clearer. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'in addition' or 'furthermore,' would enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'the give bar chart' instead of 'the given bar chart' and 'recycling proportion of cardboard waste is around 55%' which should be 'the recycling proportion of cardboard waste was around 55%.' Improving grammatical accuracy and using varied sentence structures would enhance the score.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies, such as 'waste material' instead of 'waste materials' and 'significiently' which is a spelling error. To improve, the writer could use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the recycling rates of four types of waste materials over a decade. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in presenting the data. For improvement, the writer could include more specific comparisons and trends, such as mentioning the percentage increase for each material explicitly.
6.5

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