The bar chart illustrates the estimated number of illiterate people.

Part 1 (General)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The bar chart is showingllustrates the estimate ofd number of peoples who are illiterates. It is very importeant to understanding this problem because it affects many peoples in the world. The chart is easy to read and understanding,; it shows the number of illiterates people individuals in different countrys. ies. In the first country, which is maybelikely India or China, the number of illiterates peoples is very high, maybeestimated at around 50 millions or more. This is very biga significant problem for this country because it means many peoples cannot read or write, and this makesmaking it difficult for them to find good jobs or to understanding important informations. In the second country, which is may be Pakistan or Bangladiesh, the number of illiterates is also high but not as much as in the first country, maybeestimated at around 30 millions. This is still very big problemremains a serious issue, and the goverminment of this country should work hard to fixingaddress this problem. In conclusion, the bar chart is showing very clearly shows the estimated number of illiterates people individuals in different countryies. It is very importentcrucial for the governments of thisese countryies to work hard to fixing this problem, becausediligently to resolve this issue, as it affects many peoples and makes it difficult for them to havelead a good life. The governments should invest more money in education and make sure all peopleensure that all individuals have access to goodquality schools and teachers, so they can learning to read and write and havesecure a better future.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Key strengths include the identification of the issue of illiteracy and the structure of the response. However, critical areas for improvement include the inclusion of specific data from the chart, which would enhance clarity and relevance. The use of cohesive devices needs to be improved to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, spelling errors and grammatical inaccuracies detract from the overall quality of the writing. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence through better transitions. For further improvement, the writer should focus on incorporating specific figures from the chart and varying their vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The writing has a basic structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the ideas are not always logically sequenced, and there are some repetitive phrases. The use of cohesive devices is limited, which affects the overall flow. To improve, the writer should use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'number of peoples is'), incorrect plural forms, and awkward constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and varying sentence types.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'importent', 'diferent', 'govermint') and repetitive use of phrases like 'number of illiterates peoples'. To enhance the score, the writer should aim for a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling and word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by discussing the bar chart and the issue of illiteracy in various countries. However, it lacks specific data from the chart and does not provide a clear overview of the information presented. To improve, the writer should include specific figures and comparisons from the chart to enhance clarity and relevance.
5.0

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