The bar chart shows the amount of money spent in billions of pounds on different consumer products by two countries in the year 2021. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph is displayings the expenditure of two countries in the year of 2021, on the consumer goods, in themeasured in billions of pounds. It can be seen that there are signifigcant differences between each country's spending on food, cars, and cameras. I will now analyze the main features in more detail. Looking first at the food category, country A exspendedt 25 billion on food products, which is a much lesssmaller amount than the 35 billions spent by country B. Therefore, country B has spendedt significantly more of their budget on the food than country A in this year. However, for cars, the pattern is reversed. Country A used a massive 50 billion pounds to purchase cars, while country B only putallocated 25 billions in to this product area. SoThus, country A was by far the larger spender on cars. Lastly, for cameras, the countries have nearly the same levels of expenditure, with country A spending barely more at about 7 billions compared to 5 billion for country B. TAlthough there is a small gap, cameras have the most similar spending from both placbetween both countries. To summarize, the largest difference between the 2two nations in their 2021 consumer goods expenditure is forin the cars category, followed by food. Meanwhile, they spent amounts that are closest to equal amounts in the cameras category. Overall, country A appears to have a much higher total expenditure.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart and making relevant comparisons between the two countries' expenditures. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the overview to better summarize overall trends and correcting spelling and grammatical errors. Structural changes made include correcting verb forms and improving transitions between paragraphs for better cohesion. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include expanding the analysis of total expenditures and using a wider range of vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to enhance the flow of information. For example, the transition between the discussion of food and cars could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'in contrast' or 'similarly,' would improve the overall cohesion of the text.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ('spended' should be 'spent,' 'putted' should be 'put') and awkward constructions. These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb forms and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'expenditure,' 'significant differences,' and 'spending.' However, there are some spelling errors (e.g., 'signifigant,' 'spended,' 'purchas,' 'putted') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should proofread for spelling accuracy and consider using a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart and making relevant comparisons between the two countries' expenditures. However, it lacks a clear overview of the overall trends and does not fully develop the analysis of the data. To improve, the writer could provide a more comprehensive summary of the total expenditures and highlight the significance of the differences more clearly.
6.5

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