The bar chart shows the level of life satisfaction and income in America. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph illustrate as statistics ofregarding American people and their's life satisfaction byased on income levels. According to the graph, there are four income levels: poor, working class, middle class, and rich. First of all, the graph shows that poor people have the lowest life satisfactions, at around 37%. WThe working class havs the second lowest satisfaction. They has level level, which is 50%. The two lowest income levels have less than half life satisfaction.of the population reporting satisfaction with their lives. In contrast withto poor and working-class people, the people wiindividuals, those in the middles class and rich incomecategories have much higher life satisfaction. The middle class people's satisfaction levelsatisfaction level for middle-class individuals is about 65%, which is significantly higher than the 50% for the workings class. and the rich people hasFurthermore, rich individuals have the highest level of life satisfaction at approximately 90%, which is more than 2 times compare totwice that of the working class. In conclusion, the bar chart clearly shows that income levels hasve a directly relationship towith the life satisfaction of American people. The higher the income a people have,, the greater the satisfaction in life will be higher. And. Additionally, the life satisfaction gap between the poor and the rich level is significantly hularge, at around 53%. SoTherefore, address theing income inequality maybe should be a priority for the government to improves overall Americans life satisfaction among Americans.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a clear structure and the identification of trends in life satisfaction based on income levels. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing clarity, and improving transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall coherence. For example, the transition between discussing the working class and middle class could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices would enhance the clarity of the argument.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('working class have' should be 'working class has') and awkward phrasing ('the people with middles class'). These errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'satisfaction' and 'income'). The use of phrases like 'significant higher' and 'directly relationship' indicates some inaccuracies in word choice. To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some clarity in presenting the data, such as specific figures for the working class and middle class. To improve, the writer could provide clearer comparisons and ensure all data points are accurately represented.
6.5

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