The bar graph shows quantities of different crops.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph is shows quantities for different crops in the form of bars. It is clear from the information that the crop with mothe highest quantity is maize. The maize havs the highest bar, itwhich is approximately 700 million tonnes according to the y-axis scale. The crop with the lowest amount is barley. The barley, whose bar is very short, it looks like it isappearing to be around 150 million tonnes only. The w Wheat is the second highest crop in terms of quantity. The wheat, with its bar is slightly lower than theat of maize bar. It is somewher, estimated to be between 600 toand 650 million tonnes I think. Rice is the third crop. Rice ranks third, wit hash a bar of around 400 million tonnes. So rice is having much, indicating that rice has a significantly lower quantity than both wheat and maize. In conclusion, the graph is givingprovides information about various crops and their quantities. Maize is the crop with the maximum quantity, followed by wheat and rice. Barley is the crop with the least quantity among all the crops shown in the bar graph. TOverall, the graph is quite simple and easy to understand regarding the quantities of crops.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the key information from the bar graph, identifying the crops and their respective quantities. Key strengths include a clear identification of the crops and a logical flow of information. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more precise descriptions and comparisons, particularly for wheat and rice, as well as enhancing the use of cohesive devices to improve clarity. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence structure, and enhancing vocabulary to avoid repetition. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary and synonyms, as well as providing a clearer overview of trends in the data. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences could be better linked to enhance the overall clarity. For example, using phrases like 'in comparison' or 'similarly' could improve the connections between the different crops discussed.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'The graph is shows' and 'the maize have highest bar.' These mistakes indicate a lack of grammatical accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, ensuring that sentences are grammatically correct and clear.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate but somewhat repetitive, particularly with the word 'bar' and phrases like 'crop with most quantity.' There are also minor spelling errors, such as 'aproximately' and 'having,' which detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer could use a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of the language.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the key information from the bar graph, identifying the crops and their respective quantities. However, it lacks some detail and precision in the descriptions, such as not providing exact figures for wheat and rice. To improve, the writer could include more specific comparisons and trends, as well as a clearer overview of the data presented.
6.5

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