The best way to prevent people from smoking is to impose high taxes on tobacco products. In this way, people will be less likely to develop a long-term addiction to smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I agree that imposing high taxes foron tobacco products could help prevent smoking addiction in the long term, because it will make the products more expensive and less affordable for many people, especially for young peopleindividuals who have a lower income and are more sensitive to price changes. High taxes can discourage them from starting to smoke in the first place or reduce the amount they smoke. Hoewever, I also think that high taxes alone may not be enough to prevent addiction in the long- term. Some people who are already addicted to smoking may be willing to pay higher prices to continue their habit. They may cut back on other expenses or find cheaper alternatives like, such as contraband cigarettes. Therefore, I believe that high taxes should be combined with other measures, such as educational campaigns about the health risks of smoking, restrictions on advertising and promotion of tobacco products, and support for smokers who want to quit. These measures can help create a more comprehensive approach to preventing and reducing smoking addiction. In conclusion, while I agree that high taxes on tobacco products can be an effective way to prevent smoking addiction, especially among young people, I think it should be part of a broader strategy that addresses the root causes of addiction and provides support for those who want to quit. Only by taking a holistic approach can we hope to significantly reduce the long-term impact of smoking on individual and public health.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates several strengths, including a clear position on the issue and a logical progression of ideas. The writer effectively addresses the prompt and develops main ideas with relevant examples, particularly regarding the impact on young people and the necessity for additional measures. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The essay could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument further. Additionally, while the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there is some repetition of phrases like 'high taxes' and 'smoking addiction,' which could be varied for better lexical resource. Minor grammatical errors, such as 'in first place' and the misspelling of 'However,' should also be corrected to enhance accuracy. Structural changes made include correcting the spelling error and ensuring proper phrasing, such as 'in the first place.' Transition words were maintained, and the overall structure was preserved. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more varied linking phrases within paragraphs and include specific examples or statistics to bolster their arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, and cohesive devices are used effectively, such as 'therefore' and 'in conclusion.' To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some minor errors, such as 'in first place' (should be 'in the first place') and 'Hoewever' (spelling error). While these do not significantly impede understanding, reducing such errors would enhance the overall accuracy and professionalism of the writing.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, with terms like 'addiction,' 'comprehensive approach,' and 'health risks.' However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'high taxes' and 'smoking addiction.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance lexical variety.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position on the issue of high taxes on tobacco products as a means to prevent smoking addiction. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the impact on young people and the need for additional measures. To improve further, the writer could provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen their argument.
8.0

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