The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, environmental problems are becoming more and more serious, and many people think making fuel more expensive can help solve these problems. While I understand why some people believe this could work, I don't completely agree that this is the best solution. I think increasing fuel prices can help reduce pollution in some ways. When fuel becomes more expensive, people start thinking twice about using their cars every day. For example, in my country, when petrol prices went up last year, many of my friends started taking the bus to work instead of driving. Alsodditionally, companies might try harder to find ways to use less fuel because they want to save money, which is good for the environment. However, I don't think this is enough to solve all the environmental problems we have. First, not everyone can simply stop using fuel even if prices go up very high. Many people live far from their work, and public transport is not good in their area. These peopleindividuals will just have to pay more money but still use the same amount of fuel. Second, there are many other thingfactors that harm the environment besides fuel usage. LikFor instance, factories makecreate a lot of pollution even if they don't use much fuel, and plastic waste is biga significant problem too. In my opinion, we need different solutions working together to protect the environment. GThe government should improve public transport so people have a good choicalternative instead of driving. They should also make strict ruleimplement strict regulations for factories aboutregarding pollution and support companies that use clean energy. Plus, I thinkFurthermore, I believe teaching people about environmental issues is very important because when peopleindividuals understand the problem better, they make better choices. To conclude, while making fuel more expensive might help a little bit with environmental problems, I believe we need a more completrehensive approach with differentvarious solutions. Just increasing fuel prices alone cannot solve all the environmental challenges we face today.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on the issue of increasing fuel prices as a solution to environmental problems. Key strengths include a logical structure, relevant examples, and a clear argument. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the variety of vocabulary to avoid repetition, improving transitions between ideas, and incorporating more complex sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical flexibility. The structural changes made include correcting minor grammatical errors, improving transitions, and enhancing clarity in some sentences. For further improvements, the writer could include more specific examples and explore alternative solutions in greater depth. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, and cohesive devices are used appropriately. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the overall flow could be improved by varying the sentence structure and linking phrases more effectively.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'bus to work' (should be 'the bus') and 'same amount of fuel' (should be 'the same amount of fuel'), but these do not significantly impede understanding. More complex sentence structures could be employed to showcase greater grammatical flexibility.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some effective phrases such as 'thinking twice' and 'strict rules for factories.' However, there is some repetition of words like 'environment' and 'fuel,' which could be varied to enhance the lexical range. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions would elevate the writing further.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the effectiveness of increasing fuel prices as a solution to environmental problems. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the impact of rising petrol prices on personal transportation choices. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of alternative solutions.
7.5

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