The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The chart is showingllustrates the change in the perscentage of bBritish people thatwho donated to charity in 1990 and 2010, separated into age groups. Overall, there areis an increase in the amountnumber of people who give money to charity from 1990 to 2010 across all age ranges. In 1990, the grooup with the highest percentage of donors wereas those aged 45-54 years old, at around 32%. The lowest wperecentage was in the 16-24 age range, at just above 15% of peeple. The 25-34 and 35-44 age ranges had similar perscentages, at around 20-25%. The 55-64 and over 65 age groups were also close, between 25-30%. Moving to In 2010, all age ranges saw an increase in the perscentage of peeople giving to charity. The most significant raise was in the 16-24 group, goingwhich increased from around 15% to nearly 30%, almost doubling. The 35-44 and 45-54 also had big growth toge groups also experienced substantial growth, reaching over 40% each. NowBy 2010, the highest perscentage group iswas the 35-44 age range, at about 42%. The 55-64 and over 65 age groups grew to around 35% of peeople donating. In summary, there was an overall increase in bBritish people across all ages giving money to charities from 1990 to 2010. The standout growth areas wasere the 16-24, 35-44, and 45-54 age ranges. ButNotably, in 2010, the 35-44 year olds are nowbecame the most generous grooup in terms of perscentage.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, effectively summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons between the years 1990 and 2010. Key strengths include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling errors, grammatical inaccuracies, and enhancing the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and refining transitions between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and incorporating more complex sentence structures. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining formality throughout the writing.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, phrases like 'moving to 2010' could be replaced with more formal transitions such as 'In 2010, it is evident that...' to enhance the flow of information.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'there are increase' should be 'there is an increase'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should proofread for grammatical mistakes and aim to use a wider variety of sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'persentage', 'groop', 'peeple') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the repetition of certain words like 'percentage' could be varied with synonyms or rephrasing. To improve, the writer should focus on spelling accuracy and expanding their vocabulary range.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons between the years 1990 and 2010. However, it lacks some clarity in presenting the data, and there are minor inaccuracies in the figures mentioned. To improve, the writer could ensure that all data points are accurately represented and provide a clearer overview of the trends.
6.5

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