The chart below illustrates the percentages of sales of one bookseller in 1970, 1997 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph displays the percentage of book sales in different categories for one bookseller company, over the years 1970, 1997, and 2012. Overall, sales volumes in history and biographies increased significantly over time, while sales of fiction fell quite a bit.considerably. In 1970, total sales of fiction books amounted forto more thean 30% of all sales. Historyies and biographies accounted tofor less than 10 percent. Other categories made up only a small amount of sales., approximately 5%. Over the next 27 years, sales of biographiesy books rose very fastrapidly to reach over 25% of the total in 1997. This was a significant increase compared to 1970. SConversely, sales of fiction also declined considerably by approximately half to become, dropping to only 15%. In the final 15-year period up to 2012, sales of history books continued to grow, reaching to almost 40 percent. This represented a very significant rise in the share of total sales. On the other hand, the share of fiction book sales fell even more, until it was only around 10 percent. Biography sales remained quite stable at just over 25%. In summary, the bookseller saw very largesubstantial growth in sales of history books at the expense of fiction over the 42-year time period from 1970 to 2012. Biographies also made up a larger share of sales, but the growth was not as dramatic like foras that of history books.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the sales data and makes relevant comparisons over the specified years, which is a key strength. However, it could improve by providing more specific figures, such as the percentage for 'Other categories', to enhance the completeness of the analysis. The organization is generally good, but transitions between points could be improved with the use of cohesive devices. The vocabulary is appropriate, but there is some repetition that could be varied for better lexical range. Grammatical accuracy needs attention, as there were several errors that detracted from clarity. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, adding specific figures for clarity, and improving transitions between paragraphs. Further improvements could include varying vocabulary more extensively and ensuring all grammatical structures are accurate. The tone used is appropriate for an academic report, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to improve flow. For instance, using more cohesive devices such as 'In addition' or 'Conversely' could enhance the transitions between points. The use of paragraphs could also be more distinct to separate different time periods.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'amounted for' (should be 'amounted to') and 'Historys' (should be 'Histories'). These errors detract from the overall clarity. Improving grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures would enhance the score.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'significant increase' and 'stable' effectively conveying the changes in sales. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'sales of fiction' and 'biographies', which could be varied. Incorporating synonyms or alternative expressions would enhance the lexical range.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the sales data and makes relevant comparisons over the specified years. However, it could improve by providing more specific figures and clearer distinctions between the categories. For example, mentioning the exact percentage of 'Other categories' would enhance the completeness of the analysis.
7.5

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