The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

'The chart is illustrating about how thees how house prices in 5five cityies hasve changed from 1990 to 2002. The changing is compar, with the prices in 1989 serving toas the price in year 1989baseline ast 100 percent. The overall trend indicates theat house price keeps have continued to incresingase over the 12-years period in most of cities. From the graph, we are able to seeit is evident that the prices in New York and Tokyo is verywere quite high at the beginning, which isboth at 110 percent compared to the price in 1989. The New York house price ke1989 prices. The house price in New York kept raising and, reach toing 160 percent in 2002, butwhile the price in Tokyo is decreasinged to only 105 percent in 1995 andbefore raiseing back to 120 percent inby 2002 at last. Except. In addition to Tokyo, the house prices in the other 4 city is keep onfour cities continued to raising ine over the 12 years. EspecialNotably, the price in London, it started at 105 percent in 1990 and growingew steadily, at last it reach toultimately reaching the same level as New York inat 160 percent. The increase in house price raises in Madrid iwas even more rapid,; it begian at the lowest inpoint of 90 percent, but it reachclimbed to 155 percent after the 12 years, which iscoming very close to the levels of New York and London. Frankfurt started at 95 percent and growingew to 110 percent in 12 years,over the same period, which is not very rapid in comparison. In conclusion, the house prices in 4 city is keep raisingfour cities experienced consistent growth over the 12 years betweenfrom 1990 to 2002, with the exception of Tokyo. The fastest growing is happenth occurred in London and Madrid.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the changes in average house prices across five cities, comparing them to the prices in 1989. Key strengths include a clear identification of trends and a logical structure. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in subject-verb agreement and phrasing, as well as enhancing coherence through better transitions. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity, improving the flow between paragraphs with transitional phrases, and correcting grammatical errors. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and providing more specific data points for each city. The tone used is appropriate for an academic report, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents a logical sequence of ideas, but the flow could be improved with better use of cohesive devices. For instance, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. The writer could use phrases like 'In addition,' or 'Furthermore,' to enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('5 city' should be '5 cities') and awkward phrasing ('the changing is comparing'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'house price' and 'raising'). The use of terms like 'illustrating' and 'comparing' is good, but the writer could benefit from incorporating a wider range of synonyms and expressions to enhance the sophistication of the language.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the changes in average house prices across five cities, comparing them to the prices in 1989. However, it lacks some clarity and detail in certain areas, such as the specific percentage changes for each city. To improve, the writer could provide a clearer overview of the trends and include more precise data points.
6.5

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