The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph is showingllustrates the salaryies of doctors and other jobs in seven different countryies for the year 2004, measured in thousands of USD. It is clear that doctor make much more moneys earn significantly more than other workers in each place. location. The US havs the highest pasalary for doctors at around 120,000 USD per year. It, which is over twice the amount of the next highest -, the UK, at approx 75,000.imately 75,000 USD. Doctors in Germany, France, and Canada doctors also getearn around 70K. However,000 USD. In contrast, doctors in Italy and Mexico doctors makedearn significantly less, at around 25-,000 to 35,000 USD annually. For other other work,ccupations, the UK and Germeany have most high payoffer the highest salaries, both around ~30,000. After USD. Following this, Freance, Italy, Mexico, and Canada are all very similar between 12K to 18Khave similar salaries ranging from 12,000 to 18,000 USD. Once again, the United States is pays by far the most, at approximately 45,000 USD for other workers, which is much more than any another country. In conclousion, the chart demonstrates that doctors are payeid a lot more than other workers in each country, especially in the USA. The pay difference between doctors and normeal jobs is also the largest in US. Whilethe US. In contrast, in countries such as Mexico and Italy, the salary gap is more smaller between professions.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a clear identification of the highest and lowest salaries for doctors and other workers, as well as a logical structure. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and lexical precision. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between paragraphs, and enhancing clarity in the presentation of data. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing a more detailed overview of trends and ensuring a more formal tone throughout the essay. Overall, the tone is appropriate for an academic context, but attention to detail in language use is necessary for a higher score.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall coherence. For example, the transition between discussing doctors' salaries and other workers' salaries could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences would enhance the clarity of the writing.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('doctor make' should be 'doctors make') and incorrect verb forms ('maked' should be 'made'). There are also punctuation errors and awkward phrasing that detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and informal language, such as 'maked' instead of 'made' and 'alot' instead of 'a lot.' The use of terms like 'normel jobs' is also incorrect. To improve, the writer should aim for more precise vocabulary and avoid informal expressions.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some clarity and detail in certain areas, such as the specific figures for other workers in Germany and the overall trends. To improve, the writer could provide a more structured overview of the data and ensure all relevant comparisons are clearly articulated.
6.0

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