The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city from 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The line chart illustrates how the number of crimes in Newport city changed from the year 2003 to 2012 for three types of crimes: burglary, vehicle theft, and robbery. Overall, the most noticeable trend is that all three areacategories of crimes declined remarkably over the 9-year period. In 2003, the number of burglary crimes was the highest among the three types of crimes, at around 3,800 crimeincidents per year. However, it decreased sharply to under 1,000 crimes in 2012 -, representing a decrease of approximately 75%. Vehicle theft, which was the second highest in 2003, followed a similar trend to that of burglary. It dropped dramatically from over 2,500 crimeincidents in 2003 to roughly 500 crimes in 2012. RIn contrast, robbery showed the least number of crimes in 2003, at about 700 crimeincidents per year. Unlike the other two types of crimes, the number of robbery crimeincidents remained relatively stable until 2006, after which it fell significantly to around 250 crimes in 2012. Generally, Rrobbery had the smallest number of crimes throughout the years given. In summary, all three types of crime in Newport city experienced a significant decline from 2003 to 2012, with burglary showing the most substantial decrease, followed by vehicle theft, while robbery remained the least prevalent crime throughout the period.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the line chart, highlighting the trends in burglary, vehicle theft, and robbery. Key strengths include a clear introduction and logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific data points and varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include the addition of transition phrases like 'in contrast' to enhance coherence and a clearer overview paragraph summarizing the trends. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying the phrase 'number of crimes' with synonyms and ensuring all figures are consistently presented. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction and logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, phrases like 'in contrast' or 'similarly' could help to better link the comparisons between the different types of crime.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'droped dramaticaly' (should be 'dropped dramatically') and 'robery' (should be 'robbery'). These mistakes detract from the overall accuracy and professionalism of the writing.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'declined,' 'remarkably,' and 'dramatically' effectively conveying the changes in crime rates. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'number of crimes,' which could be varied. Using synonyms or rephrasing could enhance the lexical range.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the line chart, highlighting the trends in burglary, vehicle theft, and robbery. However, it could improve by providing more specific data points and comparisons between the crime types. For example, mentioning the exact figures for vehicle theft in 2012 would enhance the analysis.
7.5

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