The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The chart is compares expenditure habits for three different catoegoryies in the United Kingdom across age groups in the year 2004. The most obvious trend is that foods and drinks isrepresent the highest expenditure for all age groups, followed by technology and cloth. Foring. In the food and drink category, expenditure increases gradually with age and, peak ating in the 45-54 year old group, which spends over 160 pounds per week. There is a sharp decrease for the 55-64 age group, where spending is less than 120 pounds, but this number rebounds for the 65-74 group. On the other hand, expenditures ion clothing and technolofgy are relatively stable across all ages, except for people over 75 years old. The sSpending on clothing fluctuates between 20-25 pounds acrosss all age groups under 75 years old and half for technology. C, while technology spending is about half of that. The clothing budget decreases most significantly to only 5-10 pounds for the over 75 group, and technology expenses also follow the same pattern. In summary, the chart demonstrates that UK residents prioritise basic necessityies over leisure. AndFurthermore, expenditure habit iss are affected by age, with food/ and drink costs peaking in middle age years and a sharp drop in cloth/ing and technology costs once individuals reach old age.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarising the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a clear identification of trends and a logical structure. However, critical areas for improvement include clarity in the introduction and a more cohesive flow between points. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence by refining topic sentences and transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding the vocabulary range and providing more detailed comparisons between the categories. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The writing demonstrates some coherence, but the organization of ideas could be improved. There are instances of abrupt transitions between points, which disrupt the flow. Using more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences would enhance the overall clarity. For instance, explicitly stating the main trends before diving into details would help guide the reader.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure (e.g., 'is compare expenditure habit', 'which spend over 160 pounds'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'catogory', 'obvius', 'gradualy', 'fluctate', 'technolofy', 'acrosss', 'demonstrate', 'affect', 'patern') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and could benefit from a more structured approach. For example, the introduction could be clearer, and the summary could better encapsulate the overall trends observed.
6.0

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