The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The chart illustrates how water is used tofor various purposes in six regions onf the world. It can be clearly seen that most of the water is consumed by agriculturale in four of the six areas, which isare South America, Africa, Central Asia, and Southeast Asia, with over 80 percentage, and 91% at the highiest in South America. In contrast, water usage for industry and domestic arepurposes is relatively small, accounting for less than 20% togethercombined. However, in North America and Europe, there is a different pattern. Industry is takinges the leading role, makeing up approximately a haft ofhalf of the total water consumption in both regions, about 48% for North America and 53% in the case of Europe. Domestic water usage is higher twoo, roughly a third, at 33% in North America and 32% in Europe. Agriculture in those areas is are minority, with only 19% and 15% of water are used for this purpose. In summary, the chart compares how water usage differs greatly between developing areas like South America, Africa, and most regions of Asia, where agriculturale dominates, and developed regions like North America orand Europe, in which water areis used mostly byfor industry and domestic needs.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a logical structure and an attempt to highlight differences in water usage across regions. However, critical areas for improvement include clarity and accuracy in terminology, as well as grammatical and spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving sentence clarity, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhancing the use of cohesive devices for better flow. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. For example, 'However, in North America and Europe theres a differen pattern' could be rephrased for better coherence. Using more cohesive devices would enhance the overall fluency.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are numerous errors that affect clarity, such as 'account for less than 20% together' and 'make up approximately a haft of total water consumption'. The use of singular and plural forms is inconsistent, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains several errors, such as 'highist', 'a haft', and 'difer'. While there are attempts to use appropriate terms, the frequent spelling mistakes and repetition of words like 'water' detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should aim for a wider range of vocabulary and check for spelling accuracy.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains inaccuracies, such as 'char' instead of 'chart' and 'agricultural' instead of 'agriculture'. To improve, the writer should ensure accurate terminology and provide clearer comparisons.
6.0

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