The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The bar chart provides informations about the various reasons for which people gocommute to work by bicycle or car. It can been seen from the data that the main factor for choosing to bike is health and fitness, while convenience is the most important reason for driving a car. For bicyclists, over 30% state health and fitness as their top motivateion, with environmental concerns coming in second at nearly 25%. Cost savings is cited by around 20% as their primary reason for cycling. In contrast, only a small share of bike commuters, less than 10%, prioritizse convenience or necessity as theire main factor. On the other hand, for car commuters, convenience is overwhelmingly the dominant reasons, with over 40% listing it as the most important. Necessity and comfort are the next most common factors at about 27% and 15% respectively. Notably, very few people, under 5%, choose to drive for reasons of health, environment, or cost. In summary, while health and environmental concerns are key motivators for cycling, those who drive are primarily concerned about convenience and the necessity of using a car for their daily commute. Commuters seems to have very different priorities when it comes to choosing their mode of workplace transportation.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarises the main features of the bar chart, highlighting the primary reasons for commuting by bicycle and car. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific data points and clearer comparisons between the two modes of transport, as well as addressing grammatical errors and enhancing lexical variety. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better linking phrases, and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more explicit percentage differences between the reasons for cycling and driving, and using additional cohesive devices to strengthen transitions. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to improve coherence. For instance, using more cohesive devices to connect the contrasting points about cyclists and car commuters would enhance the overall clarity. Phrases like 'In contrast' and 'On the other hand' are used, but additional linking phrases could strengthen the transitions.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'can been seen' should be 'can be seen', and 'as there main factor' should be 'as their main factor'. These errors, along with some awkward constructions, suggest a need for more careful proofreading to improve accuracy.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'motivate', 'convenience', and 'necessity' effectively conveying the intended meaning. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'most important' and 'primary reason', which could be varied for a richer lexical range. Additionally, minor errors like 'informations' (should be 'information') detract from the overall quality.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the bar chart, highlighting the primary reasons for commuting by bicycle and car. However, it could improve by providing more specific data points and clearer comparisons between the two modes of transport. For example, explicitly stating the percentage differences between the reasons for cycling and driving would enhance clarity.
7.5

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