The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The chart gives information about how many people buy and draink coffee and tea in 5five cityies of Australia. The cities are: Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart. In Sydney, the perscentage of people buying coffee is about 65% and it, which is higher than those who buy tea, at only around 50%. The number of people drinking coffee and tea areis similar, a little over 50%. Melbourne has the mosthighest number of people buying coffee and tea out of all citys.the cities, with 75% buying coffee and 68% buying tea there. For drink, the number is. However, the figures for drinking are lower, at about 58% for coffee and 48% for tea. Brisbane and Adelaide haveexhibit a similar pattern in buying coffee and tea. In Brisbane, 55% buy coffee and 53% buy tea, Adelaide is 57% for coffee and 55% for tea. But for drinking, in Brisbane more peoplwhile in Adelaide, the figures are 57% for coffee and 55% for tea. Interestingly, for drinking habits, more people in Brisbane drink tea than coffee, oppositewhereas in Adelaide, coffee is more popular to drink. Hobart is intrestingnotable because it has the lowest percentage of people buying coffee and tea, which isat 45% and 42%. But, respectively. However, it has the highest number of people drinking tea (62%) and is the only city where tea drinking is higher then coffee (surpasses coffee drinking, with 58%). Overall, buying coffee areis more common thean buying tea in most cityies, but in some places like Brisbane and Hobart, more people drink tea thean coffee. The buying and drinking patterns are not the same inacross all cityies.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the chart and makes comparisons between the cities, which is a key strength. However, it lacks depth in analysis and could benefit from clearer distinctions between buying and drinking habits. The coherence and cohesion of the writing could be improved with better use of linking phrases, and there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies in vocabulary. The grammatical range and accuracy need attention, as several errors affect clarity. In the corrected version, I made structural changes to enhance clarity and coherence, such as correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. I also adjusted the vocabulary to avoid repetition and inaccuracies. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more specific data points and trends, as well as a wider range of vocabulary. Additionally, varying sentence structures would enhance the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents information in a logical order, but the flow could be improved with better use of cohesive devices. Some sentences feel disjointed, and transitions between ideas are not always smooth. To enhance coherence, the writer could use linking phrases such as 'in contrast' or 'similarly' to better connect ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('the chart give' should be 'the chart gives') and incorrect word forms ('persentage' should be 'percentage'). There are also awkward constructions that affect clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'buy coffee and tea') and some inaccuracies (e.g., 'citys' should be 'cities'). The use of terms like 'interesting' and 'highest' is effective, but the writer could improve by incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding redundancy.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making comparisons between the cities. However, it lacks depth in analysis and could benefit from clearer distinctions between buying and drinking habits. For improvement, the writer should include more specific data points and trends, and ensure that all relevant comparisons are made.
6.0

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