The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2006 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The chart telling about how many british people moved to someillustrates the number of British people who emigrated to various countries from 2006 to 2008. iIt showpresents data for five countries: Australia, New Zealand, the USA, France, and Spain. In general, aAustralia and sSpain wasere the most popular placedestinations for bBritish to immigratents, with the highest numbers through allout the years, while nNew zeZealand had the fewest bBritish people movedemigrants. The number of bBritish emigrating to USA wasthe USA remained relatively stable at around 25,000 to 35,000 per year. Looking at the data in more details, in 2006, the most famouspopular country was Spain, with nearly 60,000 bBritish people moveding there, followed by Australia with around 50,000 bBritish moved. France was the third place where british like to move to with aroundemigrants. France ranked third, attracting approximately 35,000 people. However, moving into 2007 and 20098, Australia becoame the top preference of bfor British emigrants, with around 50,000 bBritish movedpeople moving to Australia each year, while the number of bBritish emigrating to Spain decreased dramatically to around only 27,000 in 20098. Interestingly, an opposite trend was observed for the USA and New Zealand -; the number of bBritish moving to the USA increased slightly from 2006 to 2009 but8, while it decreased for New Zealand withduring that period. In conclusion, the chart demonstrates some changes in the preferences of destination to emigrate of british peopleBritish people regarding emigration destinations from 2006 to 20098. While Spain was the most popular country in 2006, Australia becomame the top choice from 2007 to 20098. Besides,Additionally, the USA, France, and New Zealand did not experience significant changes in their attractiveness to bBritish muchemigrants during that time, with stable numbers of bBritish movedpeople moving to those countries each year.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons, which is a key strength. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and coherence. The original text contained several spelling errors and grammatical mistakes that detracted from the overall clarity. The revised version corrects these issues, ensuring subject-verb agreement and improving sentence structure. Structural changes included enhancing the flow between paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. Transition phrases were added to improve coherence, particularly when comparing trends between countries. For further improvements, the writer could focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding repetition. Additionally, providing more specific figures for each year consistently would enhance clarity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall coherence. For example, the transition from discussing Spain to Australia could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'in contrast' or 'similarly,' would enhance the clarity of comparisons.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are multiple errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Australia and Spain was' should be 'were') and sentence structure. These errors affect the clarity of the message. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'contries,' 'relativly,' 'dramtically') that detract from the overall quality. The writer could benefit from using a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding repetition, such as using synonyms for 'moved' or 'british.'
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some clarity in presenting the data, particularly in the transitions between years. To improve, the writer could provide clearer comparisons and trends, such as specifying the exact figures for each year more consistently.
6.5

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