The chart shows the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The charts is showing the percentages of UK students whicho can speak a foreign language beside es English at an university ofin England, in the years 2000 and 2010. It canis clearly see that the abilities of British students to speaking other languages hasve increased a lotsignificantly from 2000 to 2010. In 2000, around 42% of students were able to speaking one more language other thean eEnglish. This number grownew to nearly 70% by 2010, an rise of almost 30%. The proportion who could spokeneak two foreign languages has also increasinged significantly, from 18% to 36% over the 10-years period. There was even a dramatically change in students withthe number of students who could speak three foreign languages. In 2000, it was just 5%, but this has went uprose to 16% by 2010, which is more thenan a three timefold increase. In conclusion, the datas suggest that British students have becaome a lotmuch better at learning anothers languages over the decade. Many more students inat this university could speak one, two, or even three foreign languages in 2010 comparinged to 2000. ItThis showings that the importance of language skills is growing, and both students and the university have put muchconsiderable effort into this area.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, summarizing the main features of the charts and making relevant comparisons between the years 2000 and 2010. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear attempt to present data trends. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and lexical variety. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence clarity, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall coherence. For example, phrases like 'it can clearly see' should be revised to 'it is clear that.' Using more cohesive devices would enhance the connection between ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as 'which can speak foreign language beside english' and 'the abilities of British students to speaking other languages.' These errors affect clarity and accuracy. While there is some range in sentence structure, the frequent mistakes hinder the overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and sentence construction.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'speaking other languages' and 'foreign language.' The use of terms like 'dramatically change' and 'more then three time increase' shows an attempt at varied vocabulary, but accuracy is lacking. To improve, the writer should aim for more precise and varied word choices.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons between 2000 and 2010. However, it lacks some clarity in presenting the data, and there are minor inaccuracies in the figures mentioned. To improve, the writer should ensure precise data representation and provide a clearer overview of the trends.
6.0

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