The charts below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graphs are showing about water in the world also two country. In overall, we seeillustrate water usage globally and in two specific countries. Overall, it is evident that world water use is increase, and biging, with significant differences between the countries. F The first graph givingdepicts how water useage has change ind worldwide. It is clear that use of water risingwater consumption rose to almost 4 thousand cubic kilometeres in 2000. Most thing use water is agriculture. Another thing use lot water is industry. This line go up but not much likeThe primary sector using water is agriculture, which accounts for the largest share. Another significant user of water is industry, which shows an upward trend, although not as pronounced as that of agriculture. OIn the other hand line "contrast, the line representing 'domestic use" i' has not increase a lot and stayd significantly and remains steady. S The second graph shows how much water usingage in Brazil and Congothe Democratic Republic of the Congo. From the information we see water use in Brazil more than anpresented, it is apparent that water use in Brazil is much higher than in the other country. For examplinstance, in 2000, water usingage in Brazil iwas 359 cubic meteres per person but in Congo, while in the Democratic Republic iof the Congo, it was only 8 cubic meteres per person. Another thing is Brazil use more water almostdditionally, Brazil uses nearly ten times more then Congowater than the Democratic Republic. of the Congo. To summmarizse, the graphs provide a clear comparison of water using in the worldage globally and in individual countries. BigThere are significant differences between countries and sectors that usconsume water ion the planet. It would be goodbeneficial to find ways to utilizse water better since more and more water is using every where especialy formore efficiently, as water consumption continues to rise, particularly in agriculture and industry.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task, effectively summarising the main features of the graphs and making comparisons between water use in Brazil and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Key strengths include the identification of trends and the overall structure of the essay, which includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the depth of analysis and clarity in presenting specific figures and trends. The original writing contained several grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and spelling mistakes, which have been addressed in the corrected version. The use of cohesive devices was limited, and the flow of ideas was somewhat disjointed; these issues have been improved by adding transitional phrases and enhancing logical progression. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance grammatical range and accuracy. Additionally, providing more detailed comparisons and insights into the implications of the data could strengthen the analysis. The tone used in the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, phrases like 'on the other hand' are used, but more varied linking words could enhance the coherence. Improving the logical progression of ideas and using a wider range of cohesive devices would strengthen this aspect.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms, such as 'is showing' instead of 'shows.' Sentence structures are often simple and lack variety, which limits the grammatical range. To improve, the writer should focus on using more complex sentences and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout the text.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'use of water rising' and 'big differences between the cuntries.' There are also spelling errors, such as 'cuntries' instead of 'countries.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling and word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graphs and making comparisons between water use in Brazil and the Congo Democratic Republic. However, the analysis lacks depth and clarity in some areas, such as the specific figures and trends. To improve, the writer should provide more detailed comparisons and clearer descriptions of the data presented in the graphs.
5.0

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