The charts below show changes in the age structure of the population of a European country between 1901 and 1981 and a prediction for 2021. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

These chart illustrates the changes in age structur changings in ae in the population of some ea European country from the year 1901 to 1981 and also giveprovides a predict toion for the year 2021. From 1901 to 1981, the propoirtion of the 45-64 age group and abthe over 65 aged group each groew considerably, butwhile the percentage of the under 15 aged group percentage lessened decreased during the same time. Byperiod. According to the prediction for 2021, the percentages for youngesters under 15 and those aged 15 to 44 haved dropped further comparinged to the 1981 level. UThe under 15 group is now around 18%, while the 15-44 age range is rough 38%. Whereasapproximately 38%. In contrast, the share of the population among the 45 to 64 age group continue raising to becomes to rise, reaching nearly 26%, and the over 65 years old group now makes up roughapproximately 20% of the population, both isof which have increased from their 1981 levels. The tren seemd indicates that the under 15 and 15-44 age ranges is keepare continuing ton decreasing, bute, while the 45-64 and over 65 groups continuing to raise itsare expected to keep increasing their percentages forin thise foreseeable future. Overall, in the population structure of this eEuropean country, people inindividuals in the younger age groups becomare decreasing over time from 1901 to the 2021 prediction;, while the older age group, especially those over 65, haves a larger part of proportion.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, summarizing the changes in age structure effectively. Key strengths include a logical progression of ideas and relevant comparisons between different age groups. However, critical areas for improvement include clarity and specificity, particularly in the introduction, as well as grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving sentence clarity, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific data points for each age group and enhancing the use of cohesive devices to improve flow. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents information in a logical order, but the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For example, phrases like 'the percentages for youngesters under 15' could be rephrased for clarity. Improved use of cohesive devices would enhance the overall coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure (e.g., 'the share of population among 45 to 64 age continue raising'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and includes several spelling errors (e.g., 'structur', 'propoition', 'haved', 'rough'). While there are attempts at using appropriate terms, the inaccuracies detract from the overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the changes in age structure and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains inaccuracies, such as 'some european country' instead of specifying the country. To improve, the writer should ensure clarity and specificity in their descriptions.
6.0

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