The charts below show information about the buying and drinking of coffee and tea in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

According to the pie chart, coffee areis more popular than tea in all of the 5five Australian cities given in the data. The second pie chart that, which shows the ways people like their coffee, indicates that most of people in Adelaide, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Hobart prefer exspresso. On the other hand, Sydney residents differ from those in other cities inby preferring cappuccino. The first bar graph displaying where peoples get their coffee reveals that in all the cities, the majority of people are purchasinge their coffee from cafes compared to the coffee carts, restaurants, or other sellers. TFurthermore, the final bar graph tells uillustrates how peoples make coffee at their homes. We can see that in all of the towns, most of people use instant coffee. Sydney and Melbourne stands out with a higher percentage of coffee bean usage for making coffee at home. Overall, the data clearly shows coffee's popularity over tea in Australia, with exspresso being the most preferred coffee type, cafes being the main source for gettobtaining coffee outside, and instant coffee dominating how coffee areis made at home.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the charts and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear overview of the data presented. However, critical areas for improvement include the inclusion of specific data points and figures to enhance clarity and detail. Additionally, grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and awkward constructions, detract from the overall clarity. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with transitional phrases, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific percentages from the charts and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are slightly awkward, which affects the overall coherence. For example, the transition between discussing coffee preferences and where coffee is purchased could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'in addition' or 'furthermore,' would enhance the clarity of the writing.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('coffee are' should be 'coffee is') and awkward constructions ('peoples' should be 'people'). These errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'most of people' and 'coffee.' The use of 'expresso' should be corrected to 'espresso.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of the language.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the charts and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in certain areas, such as the specific percentages or figures from the charts. To improve, the writer should include more specific data points and ensure that all aspects of the task are covered comprehensively.
6.5

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