The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

'The charts displays the average percentages of three types of nutrients, all of them couldwhich can be harmful if overeaten, in the usuypical meals. Is shown inforomation is shown about sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar contained in the normal meal. According to the charts, the percentage of sodium is the highest, it takesat 43%. People getobtain most of their sodium from their meals they typically eaten meals. The f. Following sodium is saturated fat, which has 31%. Itaccounts for 31%. Although this is lower than then sodium percentage but, it is still quite high,; about one-third of meals havecontain this unot healthy nutrient if eat too much. Sugar added toconsumed excessively. Added sugar in meals has the lowest percent -age at 13%,; however, it is also a lostill significant and can madeworsen health worse for someone if they will eat too much added sugarif consumed in large amounts. In summary, all three nutrients, that is —sodium, saturated fats, and additioned sugar, has—have high percentages in usuthe typical meals of people. They all are dangeros forre all detrimental to humans health if will consumed in big amount. Solarge quantities. Therefore, it is important to reduce the consuming food with this nutrients for be moreption of foods containing these nutrients to promote better healthy.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the average percentages of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar in typical meals. Key strengths include a clear identification of the nutrients and their respective percentages. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for a more structured overview that summarizes the key trends and comparisons between the nutrients. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better linking phrases, and enhancing vocabulary for precision. For instance, 'not healthy nutrient' was changed to 'unhealthy nutrient,' and 'dangeros for humans health' was revised to 'detrimental to human health.' Further improvements could include a more detailed overview paragraph that highlights the significance of the data and a more varied sentence structure to demonstrate grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout the essay.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents information in a logical order, but the flow is somewhat disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is limited, which affects the overall clarity. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly, such as 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' or 'on the other hand.'
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('charts displays'), incorrect verb forms ('can made'), and awkward sentence structures. These errors hinder clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'not healthy nutrient' and 'dangeros for humans health.' The writer could improve by incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and more precise terms, such as 'unhealthy' instead of 'not healthy' and 'detrimental' instead of 'dangeros.'
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by discussing the average percentages of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar in typical meals. However, it lacks a clear overview and does not effectively summarize the key trends or comparisons between the nutrients. To improve, the writer should provide a more structured summary of the data, highlighting the most significant points and trends.
5.0

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