The charts below show the proportion of energy produced from different sources in a country between 1985 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graphs show information about how much energy was madeproduced from different sources in one country during two years, 1985 and 2003. There were significant changes in the way energy was producgenerated during this period. In 1985, coal was being the main source of energy production, making up almost half (48%) of total energy output. Nuclear power was the second most important, contributing 30% of energy production, while natural gas was accountinged for 13%. The remaining sources, which wereincluded hydroelectric and other renewables, only produced 9% of total energy. However, by 2003, the situation changed a lotconsiderably. Coal's importance decreased significantly, dropping to just 29% of total production. Natural gas became much more important and wassignificant, now producing 37% of energy, making it the biglargest source. Nuclear power stayremained almost the same as before withat 29%. There was also a small increase in hydroelectric and renewable energy, which went uprose to 15%. One interesting thing I noticednotable observation is that fossil fuels (coal and natural gas together) still made upcombined) still constituted the biglargest part of energy production in both years, even thoughdespite the changes in individual sources changed. Another important point is that clean energy sources like nuclear and renewables increased their total share from 39% to 44% during this time. In conclusion, the data showindicates that this country's energy production changed quite bigunderwent considerable changes between 1985 and 2003, with natural gas becoming more importsignificant while coal became less important. Even though renewable energy increased little bit, fossil fuels were still being the main's role diminished. Although renewable energy saw a slight increase, fossil fuels remained the primary source of energy in 2003.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the graphs, highlighting significant changes in energy production from 1985 to 2003. Key strengths include a clear structure and relevant comparisons, particularly the shift in dominance from coal to natural gas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions, and refining the conclusion for conciseness. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more synonyms to enhance lexical diversity and ensuring a more formal tone throughout. Overall, the tone used is appropriate for an academic context, but could benefit from increased formality in certain phrases.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of information. The use of cohesive devices is adequate, but there are moments where transitions could be smoother. For example, phrases like 'However' and 'One interesting thing I noticed' could be replaced with more formal transitions to enhance the academic tone.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'was being the main source' (should be 'was the main source') and 'decreased significant' (should be 'decreased significantly'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. More attention to grammatical precision would enhance the overall quality.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'significant changes' and 'energy production' effectively conveying the message. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the use of 'important' and 'energy' multiple times. To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or varied expressions to enhance lexical diversity.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the charts, highlighting significant changes in energy production from 1985 to 2003. It provides relevant comparisons and insights, such as the shift in dominance from coal to natural gas. However, the conclusion could be more concise and focused on the key trends without reiterating previously mentioned points.
7.5

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