The charts below show the reasons why people in the UK travel to work by bicycle or by car.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The charts illustrate about the motivations for British people to commute by bike or automobile. Overall, the main cause for cycling to jobwork is health and fitness, whereas the primary reason ofor driving is to cover large distances. Looking onat the bicycle chart first, over a third of respondents said they ride to stay healthy and fit. The second most common factor, at 21%, is becausethat the bike is more convenient. Interestingly, only 17% cited environmental concerns as they'reir reason for cycling, and even fewer, 9%, said it was to safve money. Turning to the car graphic, the overwhelming majority, at 40%, drive due to the long distance between home and work. In aAdditionally, 17% said they require their vehicle for their job tasks. Convenience and comfort wasere the motivations for 1 in 100% of respondents. Notably, only a small fraction of 5% cited having children as their primary reason to commute by automobile. In conclusion, the data shows that health is the biggest factor for UK cyclists, while distance is the main consideration for those who drive to work every day. Environmental impact seems to be a secondary concern for both groups, suggesting that more could be done to incentivizingse eco-friendly commuting habits.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarising the motivations for commuting by bicycle and car in the UK. Key strengths include a clear structure and relevant vocabulary. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing clarity and detail in presenting data, particularly for the car chart, and improving transitions between ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better linking phrases, and ensuring accurate word choices. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include providing more specific comparisons between the two modes of transport and varying the vocabulary used to avoid repetition. The tone is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical structure that separates the discussion of bicycles and cars. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited. For example, phrases like 'Turning to the car graphic' could be enhanced with more varied linking words to improve flow.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'overal' instead of 'overall' and 'where as' instead of 'whereas'. Additionally, phrases like 'in additional' should be 'additionally'. These errors detract from the overall accuracy and fluency of the writing.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'motivation', 'commute', and 'environmental concerns'. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'primary reason' and 'main cause', which could be varied. Additionally, there are minor errors in word choice, such as 'safe money' instead of 'save money'.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the reasons for commuting by bicycle and car in the UK. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in presenting the data, such as specific figures for the car chart. To improve, the writer could include more precise comparisons and a clearer overview of the data presented.
6.5

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