The charts below show US spending patterns between 1966 and 1996. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The two graphs illustrate how the spending of aAmerican citizens changed from 1966 to 1996 onacross different categoryies. Overall, we can see that spending on cars have increased biggethe most, while aAmericans spent less on food over the 30-years period. Looking at the pie charts more specifically, in 1966, a quarter of aAmericans' budgets went towards food, which is a much greater proportion than any other category at the time. Cars wasere the second biggest sexpenditure at 23%, followed by housing at 29%. However, clothings made up a mere 10% of spending, and all other sexpenditures combined amounted to just 13%. Thirty years later, the distribution of expenditure have changed significantly. In 1996, food dropped to the 3third biggest category at just 14% of total spending. This is a massive decrease compared to 1966. On the other hands, spending on cars increased to 45%, which is nearly double what it was in 1966. It became, making it the majority of aAmerican spending. Housing stayremained roughly similar at 19%. C, while clothings also remainstayed stable as a proportion of overall expenditure. To conclude, while aAmericans allocated more and more of their budget towards cars over the three decades, foods became a much lower priority as a percentage of total spending. Housing and clothings stay remained consistent over these years.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the changes in US spending patterns from 1966 to 1996. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as well as enhancing the variety of vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity in comparisons, and ensuring proper transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific figures for housing and clothing in 1966 and using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, phrases like 'on the other hand' could be used more effectively to contrast spending patterns. Improving the flow of ideas would enhance coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('spend' should be 'spending'), incorrect verb forms ('drop' should be 'dropped'), and awkward constructions. While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the quality of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'spend' and 'spending'). Additionally, some word choices are awkward, such as 'the spend of american citizen' which should be 'the spending of American citizens.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid redundancy.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the changes in US spending patterns from 1966 to 1996. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in presenting the data, such as specific figures for housing and clothing in 1966. To improve, the writer could include more precise comparisons and trends, ensuring all categories are clearly represented.
6.5

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