The diagram below shows how photographs can be produced using digital photographic equipment.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The diagrams is showings the process of digitalizsing a photo. It begins with a camera, where the photographer capturinges the image. The images is taken in the camera with a lens and sensor. The lens is focusinges light tonto the sensor, which records the image as a digital file. After capturing, the images is transferred to a computer. ItThis can be done with a wire, like a USB cable, or with wireless connections such as Bluetooth. On the computer, the photographer can see the image on the screen and editing it with software like Photoshop to make it look betterenhance its appearance or fix mistakes. For example, they might changadjust the light and colour, remove unwanted thingelements, or add special effects. When editing is complete, the photo is printed on paper. This is done using a special printer that sprays ink onto the paper to create a hard copy of the digital file. The print comes out of the printer, and the process is finished. The result is a physical photograph that people can hold in their hands and look atview without a computer. In conclusion, the diagrams illustratinges the steps involved in produceing a photograph with digital technology, from capturing the image with a camera, to transfersring and editing onit on a computer, and finally print outing the final result on paper using special printers.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively outlines the process of digitalising a photo, demonstrating a clear understanding of the main stages involved. Key strengths include a logical sequence of ideas and the use of relevant vocabulary related to digital photography. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as well as enhancing coherence through better transitions and varied vocabulary. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence clarity, and ensuring proper paragraph structure. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more significantly and incorporating additional cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents a logical sequence of ideas, but the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For instance, phrases like 'the images is taken in camera' could be restructured for better clarity. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly, such as 'firstly,' 'next,' and 'finally.'
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the images is taken'), incorrect verb forms ('transfered' should be 'transferred'), and awkward constructions. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structure, the frequent errors hinder overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and review sentence structures for correctness.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the task, with some relevant terms like 'digital file,' 'editing,' and 'printer.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'images' and 'photo,' which could be varied. To improve, the writer should incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid redundancy.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response provides a general overview of the process of producing photographs using digital equipment, addressing the main stages involved. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains inaccuracies, such as 'the diagrams is showing' instead of 'the diagram shows.' To improve, the writer should ensure that all stages are clearly articulated and that the language is precise and accurate.
6.0

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