The diagram below shows information about recycling of waste materials in the US from 1982 to 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph showingillustrates the recycling amounts of waste materials in the uUnited sStates in 1982 and 2010. tThere are 5five different types of waste material, Ys: yard trimmings, food scraps, plastic, metal, and glass. tThe amount of waste recycle ared is measured in percentage. In 1982, the recycleing amounts for each waste material were very low, rangeing from 0% to 10% only. mMetal haved the highest recycling rate of 10%, followed by glass at 9%. tThe other 3three waste materials showed 0% recycleing in 1982. Moveing on to 2010, there were a hugeas a significant increase ofin recycling activities. All waste materials showed an increase compared to 1982. Glass showexhibited the highest increase from 10% to over 30%, a 3 timesthreefold increase. Yard trimmings increased from 0% to around 55%, which is a significantremarkable improvement compared to the other materials. mMetal and plastic also have a good raisaw good increases to around 33% and 8%., respectively. However, food scraps remained at 0% in 2010. In concludesion, from 1982 to 2010, all the waste material haves experienced an increase in recycleing amounts except for food scraps. tThe most noticeable raiincreases were in glass and yard trimmings, butwith yard trimmings haveshowing the most impressive growth from 0% to 55%.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the recycling data from 1982 to 2010, highlighting key trends and making comparisons. Key strengths include a clear identification of the main features and trends in the data. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for a clearer overview and more precise data regarding all materials in 2010. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence structure, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding the vocabulary range to avoid repetition and using more sophisticated language. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents information in a logical order, but the flow could be improved with better use of cohesive devices. For example, phrases like 'in conclusion' could be used more effectively to signal the end of the discussion. Additionally, some sentences are quite short and could be combined for better fluency.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ('have' instead of 'has') and issues with subject-verb agreement. There are also punctuation errors and awkward constructions that affect clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'recycle' and 'increase'). The use of terms like 'huge increase' and 'significant improvement' is effective, but the writer could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of the writing.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the recycling data from 1982 to 2010, highlighting key trends and making comparisons. However, it lacks a clear overview and some details are not fully developed, such as the specific percentages for all materials in 2010. To improve, the writer could provide a clearer summary of the overall trends and include more precise data.
6.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."