The diagram below shows the process for recycling plastic bottles. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Sample Essay with Corrections
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The essay effectively outlines the recycling process for plastic bottles, demonstrating a clear understanding of the main steps involved. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear overview of the process. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect verb forms. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to improve the flow between steps. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and refining vocabulary for clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific details about each step and varying sentence structures to enhance sophistication. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between steps could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited. For example, phrases like 'next step' could be replaced with more varied linking words to enhance flow. Improving the use of cohesive devices would strengthen the overall coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('It have 7 step'), incorrect verb forms ('are wash'), and awkward constructions ('the recycle bottles are fill'). While the overall meaning is conveyed, these errors detract from the clarity and professionalism of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'new ones that can used again' and 'the recycle process.' The writer could benefit from using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise terms, such as 'reprocessed' instead of 'used again,' to enhance clarity and sophistication.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The response provides a clear overview of the recycling process for plastic bottles, outlining the main steps involved. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in certain areas, such as the specific actions taken in each step. To improve, the writer could include more precise descriptions of the processes and their significance, ensuring that all steps are clearly articulated.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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