The diagram below shows the process of making paper and then how recycled paper is also made. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The diagram is illustratinges the process of makeing paper from wood and recycling paper. It haves two parts,: one for makproducing new paper and oneanother for recycling used paper. To make new papper, first, the wood is deliverred to a paper factory. Then, the wood is chipped into small pieces and mixed with chemicals to create wood pulp. Next, the wood pulp is bleached to remove colour and impurities. After that, the bleached pulp is mixed with water and pressed into thin sheets of paper. Finally, the paper sheets are dried and cut to the desired size. The process of recycling paper starts with collecting used papper from homes and businesses. The collected paper is then sorted and cleaned to remove any contaminationts. Next, the cleaned paper is mixed with water and chemicals to break it down into a pulp. The recycled pulp is then bleached and mixed with new wood pulp. Finally, the mixed pulp undergoes the same process as new paper production, where it is pressed, dried, and cut into new paper products. In summary, both processes involve similar steps such as pulping, bleaching, pressing, and drying. However, the recycling process uses old paper as raw material instead of wood, and requires additional steps like collecting, sorting, and cleaning the used paper. Despite some differences, recycling paper can help to reduce the use of new wood and save trees.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively describes the processes of making new paper and recycling paper, providing a clear overview and relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a logical organization and a good range of vocabulary. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and spelling errors. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and enhancing the formality of the introduction. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and incorporating more sophisticated phrases for transitions. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is logically organized, with a clear progression of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, linking the steps in both processes. However, some sentences could be better connected for smoother transitions. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' could enhance the clarity of comparisons. Overall, the coherence is strong, but slight improvements in cohesion could elevate the score.
7.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'it have' instead of 'it has' and 'papper' instead of 'paper'. These errors affect the overall accuracy. While the meaning is generally clear, improving grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures would enhance the score. The writer should focus on proofreading to catch such mistakes.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'wood pulp', 'bleached', and 'contaminations' demonstrating a good range. However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'paper' and 'pulp', which could be varied with synonyms or paraphrasing. To improve, the writer could incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance the lexical resource.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview of the processes involved in making new paper and recycling paper. It effectively summarizes the main features and makes relevant comparisons between the two processes. However, the introduction could be more formal, and there are minor inaccuracies in phrasing, such as 'make paper' instead of 'making paper'. To improve, the writer could ensure a more formal tone and correct minor grammatical errors.
7.0

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