The diagram below shows two different processes for manufacturing black tea. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The diagram is showing two wayllustrates two methods of making black tea. TAlthough there are many steps in both processes but, they share some simailarities tooas well. Both methods starts with picking the tea leaves and finishes by with grading and packing the dried tea leaves. The process on the left side is the CTC method. After plucking, the tea leafsves undergo withering for 8-24 hours, then they are rolled with a machine to getcreate smaller pieces. NThe next step is fermentation, happens in 2-4 hours. At the end,which occurs over 2-4 hours. Finally, the leaves isare dried and ready for pack. ing. On the right, you can sethe orthodox way. Wmethod is depicted. The withering stage takes less time than CTC - in the CTC method—around 6-8 hours only. Then, the leaves are rolled up but not crushed before fermenting. The fermentation time is similar for both approaches, 2-4 hours needed sorequiring 2-4 hours to ensure the black tea thaste a good taste. The final steps of drying, grading, and packing are the same for both orthodox and CTC. methods. To conclude, while the main stages go inoccur in the same order for making the black tea, there are some key differences between the traditional orthodox method and the faster CTC process, is mainprimarily in the withering and rolling steps.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively describes the two methods of making black tea, providing a clear overview and highlighting the main features. Key strengths include a logical structure and appropriate vocabulary for the task. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the detail in explaining the differences and similarities between the methods, as well as improving grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and improving the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary to avoid repetition and providing more specific information about the outcomes of each method. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to improve flow. For instance, using more cohesive devices such as 'in contrast' or 'similarly' could enhance the clarity of comparisons. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effectively structured to summarize the key points.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'method starts' (should be 'methods start') and 'leaves is dried' (should be 'leaves are dried'). These errors affect the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to enhance grammatical accuracy.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some variety. However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'leaves' and 'fermenting.' The use of terms like 'wither' and 'grading' is effective, but the writer could benefit from incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary or synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview of the two processes for manufacturing black tea, highlighting the main features and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some detail in explaining the differences and similarities, which could enhance the overall clarity. To improve, the writer could include more specific information about the outcomes of each method or the significance of the differences.
6.5

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