The diagram shows the process of making stringhoppers.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The diagram is showingllustrates the process of how to makemaking stringhoppers. There are total 7 steps to make stringhoppers according to the diagram. First we have to put, which consists of a total of seven steps. First, rice flour, salt, and water are combined in a bowl and mix it. After that, we have to knead the doughed thoroughly. Next, the dough is kneaded until it becomes smooth. Then, we have to putFollowing this, the dough is placed in the string hopper mould and press it to maked to form the stringhoppers. After that, we have to put the stringhoppers are placed in a steamer and steam themed for 10 minutes. AfterOnce steaming, we have to take out is complete, the stringhoppers are removed from the steamer and let them cool downallowed to cool. Finally, wethey can serve the stringhoppersbe served with curry or sambol. Making stringhoppers is not a verparticularly difficult process. It is relatively easy to makprepare stringhoppers at home if we have all theall the necessary ingredients and equipment. We just need to follow are available. Careful adherence to the steps shownoutlined in the diagram carefully. The most important thingis essential. The most crucial aspect is to mixensure the dough wellis mixed and knead it until it becomes smooth. Ied well; if the dough is not smooth, the stringhoppers will not come out well. Also, we have toform correctly. Additionally, steaming the stringhoppers for the right amount of time. If we steam them for too long, theyappropriate duration is vital; over-steaming can make them too soft, whill become too soft and if we steam them for too short, they will be not cooked properly.e under-steaming may result in them being improperly cooked. In conclusion, the diagram showclearly presents the process of making stringhoppers in a very clear andn easy-to-understand way. Anyone can make stringhoppers at home by following the steps shown in the diagram. Making stringhoppers is a simple process but we have to be careful aboutmanner. By following the steps illustrated, anyone can successfully prepare stringhoppers at home. Although making stringhoppers is a straightforward process, attention must be paid to mixing the dough wellthoroughly and steaming the stringhoppers for the righcorrect amount of time.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively outlines the process of making stringhoppers, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure and a clear progression of ideas, which are enhanced by the use of cohesive devices. The vocabulary is appropriate and accurately describes the process. Critical areas for improvement involve reducing repetition, particularly regarding the importance of mixing and steaming, and enhancing grammatical accuracy. The phrase 'There are total 7 steps' was corrected to 'There are a total of 7 steps', and the present continuous tense was changed to the simple present for clarity. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity and coherence, as well as improving transitions between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying the vocabulary further to avoid repetition and incorporating more complex sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an instructional piece, maintaining clarity and accessibility for the reader.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. The use of cohesive devices such as 'first', 'after that', and 'finally' helps guide the reader through the steps. However, the transition between the description of the process and the concluding remarks could be smoother. A more explicit link between the process and its simplicity could enhance coherence.
7.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors, such as 'There are total 7 steps' which should be 'There are a total of 7 steps'. Additionally, the use of the present continuous tense ('is showing') is less appropriate in this context. More varied sentence structures would enhance the overall grammatical range.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'knead', 'mould', and 'steam' accurately describing the process. However, there is some repetition of phrases such as 'we have to' and 'stringhoppers', which could be varied for a more sophisticated lexical range. Incorporating synonyms or alternative expressions could elevate the writing.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview of the process of making stringhoppers, detailing each step effectively. However, it could be improved by summarizing the steps more succinctly and avoiding repetition. For example, instead of reiterating the importance of mixing and steaming in multiple sentences, a single, well-structured statement could suffice.
7.0

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