The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

'The two charts illustrate how men and women are doingperform home tasks in a country, and how much time they spend on each tasks. The first chart shows that women are involved in cooking, cleaning, and caring for pets more than men in, as indicated by the percentages. Specifically, 75% of women cook but, while only 25% mensof men do. For cleaning women are 65% and men only 35%. W, the figures are 65% for women and 35% for men. Additionally, women"s involvement in caring for pets alsois more than double that of mens. But for repairing house, 20% of women doing it and 80% men reparing. In the second chart we can seeHowever, in terms of house repairs, 20% of women engage in this task compared to 80% of men. In the second chart, it is evident that women spend more times doing on cooking, cleaning, and caring pets. For cooking wpet care. Women spend approximately 1.5 hours per day but mencooking, while men spend about half an hour. For cleaning, women dedicate around 1 hour a day and, whereas men spend only 20 minutes cleaning per day. Women caring pets. Women spend 30 minutes each day and men spend 10 minutes only for this. But for reparing housecaring for pets, while men only spend 10 minutes on this task. Conversely, for house repairs, men spend more time, averaging around 1 hour a day, when women only 15 minutes daily. So we can seecompared to just 15 minutes for women. Thus, it can be concluded that women are dominate ing cooking, cleaning, and pet cares but, while men are much more involvesd in house repairing.s.'
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the charts and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a clear identification of the tasks and a good attempt at presenting data. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and plural forms, as well as enhancing coherence through better transitions. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity in the introduction, and refining the overview to summarize findings more effectively. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence and expanding the vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents information in a logical order, but the flow could be improved. Some sentences are choppy and lack smooth transitions, which affects the overall coherence. For instance, the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to link ideas more effectively. To improve, the writer should use more varied linking words and phrases to create a smoother narrative.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'the first chart show' should be 'the first chart shows') and incorrect plural forms (e.g., 'womens' instead of 'women's'). There are also awkward constructions that hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'mens' instead of 'men' and 'reparing' instead of 'repairing.' The use of phrases like 'dominating cooking' is somewhat informal for an academic context. To improve, the writer should aim for a wider range of vocabulary and ensure accuracy in word forms.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the charts and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and could benefit from a more structured approach. For example, the introduction could be clearer, and the conclusion could summarize the findings more effectively. To improve, the writer should ensure that all key points are clearly articulated and organized.
6.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."