The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of the public. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, the government is spending a lot of money to finding life ion other planets. Some people think this is a waste of money and that it should be spend it on public problems instead. I agree with this opinion to a large extent. First of all, there are many public problems that needs to be solved with government money. For example, poverty and homelessness are bsignificant issues in many countryies. If the government uses money to help poor people and build houses for the homeless, it will be very helpful for society. Alsodditionally, there are other important thingareas like healthcare and education. GThe government should use money to improve hospitals and school,s so that people can have a better life. Secondly, finding life on other planets is not important for most people's daily lifeves. It is interesting for scientists, but it does not have any real benefit for the average person. Most people don't care about life on other planets,; they care about their own lifeves on eEarth. SoTherefore, I think it is better for the government to focus on problems that affect people's life, notves, rather than waste money on things that don't matter. In conclusion, I agree that the government should not spending so much money on space exploration and instead use moneyfunds to solve public problems like poverty, homelessness, healthcare, and education. This will be much more helpfubeneficial for society and improve lifethe lives of average people. GThe government haves a responsibility to take care of theirits citizens first before looking for life on other planets.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument that the government should prioritize public issues over space exploration, which is a key strength. The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range. The use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to improve the flow of ideas. Structural changes included correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and refining phrasing for clarity. Further improvements could involve incorporating more specific examples and statistics to strengthen the arguments. The tone is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat basic, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. For example, phrases like 'to large extent' could be improved to 'to a large extent.' More varied linking words and phrases would enhance the overall coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'there are many public problems that needs to be solved') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'spending' instead of 'spend'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition (e.g., 'government,' 'money,' 'public problems') and some spelling errors (e.g., 'goverment,' 'helthcare'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling, which would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that the government should prioritize public problems over space exploration. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. To improve, the writer could include more concrete examples and statistics to support their arguments.
6.0

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