The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

When we look at the graph, it shows the average temperature for each month of the year for three cities. London haves the lowerst temperature all the time, on average around 5 to 20 degrese. Whilees. In contrast, Sydney and New York experience higher temperatures, with Sydney haveing the highest one of over 25 degreses between December tilland February. The table, on the other hand, compares the amount of sunshine for the cityies in hours per year. Surprisingly, even though Sydney has the most highest temperature out off the three cities, it only receives 2473 hours of sunlight per year. That is less than New York get, of, which gets 2535 hours. London is the city that haves the lowest sunshine, at only 1180 hours for the year. ItThis matches with the low temperature onshown in the graph. In concluseion, both the graph and the table provide interesting results. They show that Sydney has a warm climate but not too much sunshine per hour, while New York falls in the middle of both catergoryies. London consistently ranks at the bottom for temperature and sunshine compared to the other two cityies.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and table, comparing the temperatures and sunshine hours of the three cities. Key strengths include the identification of trends and the attempt to compare data points. However, critical areas for improvement include clarity and precision in comparisons, as well as grammatical accuracy. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and ensuring proper spelling. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include enhancing the range of vocabulary and providing more detailed comparisons of the data. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. There are instances of unclear transitions, such as 'the table, other hand,' which disrupts coherence. To enhance cohesion, the writer could use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('it show' should be 'it shows'), incorrect article usage ('the city' should be 'the cities'), and awkward constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'degrese,' 'intresting,' 'concluse') and repetitive phrases (e.g., 'highest temperature'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling to enhance clarity and professionalism.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and table, comparing the temperatures and sunshine hours of the three cities. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains inaccuracies, such as stating that Sydney has the highest temperature without clearly indicating the months. To improve, the writer should ensure that comparisons are more precise and that all relevant data points are clearly articulated.
5.0

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