The graph below provides information on the number of students from the US, UK and Australia who studied in other countries between 2002 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph is showingllustrates informations about overseas student numbers from three country -ies - the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia - during a period of 5five years from 2002 to 2007. It can be seen that the number from the US was significantly more biglarger than that from the other two countryies through wholout the entire period. Additionally, the number of overseas students from the US and UK wasthe UK increased dramatically, while the number of Australian student numbers remained quite stable with a slightly rise at the end. In the beginning at, in 2002, there were around 160 thousands,000 US overseas students, which was double the number of UK students at 80,000 and four times higher than the 40,000 ofrom Australia. Over the next 5five years, the number of US and UK student number ris rosed sharply and, reacheding a peak of approximately 200,000 for the US and 160,000 for the UK in the final year, 2007. On the other hand, overseas students from Australia wasremained relatively stable at about 40,000 but had a small increase to around 50 thousands,000 in 2007. In conclusion, the graph illustrates that the United States had mothe highest number of overseas students, followed by the United Kingdom and Australia. All three countryies experiensced an increase in overseas student numbers from 2002 to 2007, but the growth of the US and UK was much more rapid and significant than that of Australia, which remained quite stable.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a clear identification of trends and a logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing clarity and precision in language, correcting spelling errors, and improving grammatical accuracy. Structural changes made include refining the introduction, body, and conclusion to ensure clearer separation and flow. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and using more cohesive devices to enhance connections between points. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to enhance flow. For example, using more cohesive devices such as 'in contrast' or 'similarly' could improve the connections between different points. Additionally, the structure could be refined to separate the introduction, body, and conclusion more clearly.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'Australia student number' should be 'Australia's student numbers') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'was significantly more bigger'). To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to enhance complexity.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate but somewhat repetitive, with terms like 'oversea students' and 'number' appearing frequently. There are also some spelling errors (e.g., 'informations', 'ilustrates', 'experiensed') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some clarity and precision in language, and there are minor inaccuracies in the data representation. To improve, the writer should ensure that all data points are accurately reported and consider providing a clearer overview of trends.
6.0

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