The graph below shows the amounts of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The line gragph illustrates how muchthe amount of waste generated from 3by three companies which are c, namely Company A, cCompany B, and cCompany C during, over a 15-years period of time from 1990 to 2005. According to the graph, in 1990, around 70 tonnes of waste were produced by cCompany A. This numbers then steadily increased and riosed significantly in 2000 to, reaching a peak atof almost 200 tonnes before droppeding slightly to about 175 tonnes in the last year period.final year. In contrast, both cCompany B and Company C generated loweress waste than cCompany A. In 1990, the waste from cCompany B and C wereompany C was around 40 tonnes and 10 toonnes, respectively. Waste from cCompany B then went upincreased gradually and, peakeding in the middle of the period at 90 tonnes, while waste from cCompany C remained stable at just above 40 tonnes inby the end of the period. Overall, the waste from company A wasCompany A generated the highest amount of waste, followed by cCompany B and company C has been, while Company C consistently generatproduced the lowest waste throughout the 15-years period. All the amounts of waste fromDespite a small drop from Company A in the last few years, all these companies hasexhibited an upward trend despite a small drop from company A in the last few yearin waste generation.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons between the companies. Key strengths include a logical structure and the inclusion of specific data points. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in subject-verb agreement and spelling, as well as enhancing coherence through smoother transitions and varied vocabulary. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity in data presentation, and ensuring proper paragraph separation. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more synonyms to reduce repetition and using additional cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are slightly awkward, which affects the overall coherence. For example, the transition between discussing company A and the other companies could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'however' or 'in addition,' would enhance the clarity of the comparisons.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors, such as 'the line gragh' (should be 'graph'), 'this numbers' (should be 'this number'), and 'toones' (should be 'tonnes'). These errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should proofread for grammatical accuracy and ensure subject-verb agreement.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'waste' and 'company.' The use of terms like 'peaked' and 'steadily increased' shows some range. To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or varied expressions to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of the language.
6.5
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons between the companies. However, it lacks some clarity in presenting the data, particularly in the description of trends and specific figures. To improve, the writer could provide clearer comparisons and more precise language, such as specifying the years when peaks occurred.
6.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."