The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph is showingllustrates information about how manythe consumption of fish and three types of meats were consumed by people in one European country over a 25-year period from 1979 untilto 2004. It can seefeatures a line for each of the fish, beef, lamb, and chicken. In At the beginning of the period in 1979, the most consumed meat iwas beef. C, with a consumption of beef waslevel of over 200 grams per person per week. The second highest consumed meat in 1979 iwas lamb, at around 150 grams per person aper week. Chicken consumption was lower at about 140 grams, andwhile fish was the least consumed at only around 60 grams per person per week. Over the 25 years, the consumeption patterns changed significalntly. CThe consumption of chicken increased a lotconsiderably, reaching over 250 grams per person per week by 2004, thus becoming the most consumed meat. LIn contrast, lamb consumpshution decreased drastically to under 60 grams per week by the end of the period. Beef consumption also gowent down, but more slowly, reaching around 100 grams per person aper week by 2004. Fish consumshuption remained relatively stable and low throughout the time period. In conclusion, the main trends shown in the graph are the large increase ofin chicken consumption, largethe significant decrease ofin lamb consumshuption, and the more gradual decline of beef consumption over the 25 years from 1979 to 2004 in the eEuropean country. Fish consumption stayed at a low level below that of other meats the whole timeroughout the entire period.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, effectively summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a logical structure and the inclusion of specific figures, which enhance clarity. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling errors and grammatical inaccuracies, as well as enhancing the variety of vocabulary used. Structural changes made include correcting awkward phrases and ensuring proper grammatical forms, which improved coherence and cohesion. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more cohesive devices and synonyms to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall coherence. For example, phrases like 'In beginning of period' should be revised to 'At the beginning of the period.' Using more cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition,' could enhance the connections between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'go down' should be 'went down'). The sentence structures are somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing. To improve, the writer should focus on using a greater variety of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'consumtion,' 'significally,' 'consumshun') that detract from the overall quality. The writer could improve by using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling. For instance, instead of repeating 'consumption,' synonyms like 'intake' or 'usage' could be employed.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some clarity in presenting the data and could benefit from a more structured overview of the trends. For improvement, the writer could include specific figures for each type of meat at the end of the period and provide a clearer summary of the overall trends.
6.5

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