The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph displayings the tourists number that visitnumber of tourists visiting the Caribbean island in years from 2010 to 2017. Directly, iIt can be clearly seen that the number rises from approximately more than 100 thousands to around 200 thousands, which have been double100,000 to around 200,000, effectively doubling over the period. However, the overall trend is not stable and fluictuates over time. In 2010, the number of tourists was about 100,000, but it increased drammatically nextthe following year. In 2012, an peak appeared, and the number hit aboutpproximately 180,000. A slight drop occurred in the next year, but it rose back to the 2012 level atby 2014. sSince 2015, the number had kepts continued to increasinge until hit reached the highest point of the wholentire period. Overall, although the tourist numbernumber of tourists fluctuates overthroughout the period, it showeds an increaseing trend and has doubled in 2017 compared to 2010, rising from approximately 100,000 to 200,000, which is the summithighest number of tourists numbersthe Caribbean island haves received during the periodis time.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons. Key strengths include a clear identification of trends and the use of specific data points. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing coherence through better transitions and reducing grammatical errors. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity, improving transitions between paragraphs, and correcting spelling and grammatical errors. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying vocabulary further and ensuring all data points are accurately represented. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay demonstrates some coherence, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. For instance, the transition from discussing the peak in 2012 to the drop in 2013 could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer should use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the information.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the number rises' should be 'the number of tourists rises') and awkward constructions ('the summit tourists numbers Caribbean island have received'). These errors affect the overall clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy throughout the essay.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'the number rises' and 'the number hit.' Additionally, words like 'drammatically' and 'sligh' contain spelling errors. To improve, the writer should aim for a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling, as well as avoid redundancy by using synonyms.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and could benefit from a more structured approach. For example, the phrase 'the number rises from approximately more than 100 thousands to around 200 thousands' could be more precise. To improve, the writer should focus on clearer comparisons and ensure that all data points are accurately represented.
6.5

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