The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph is illustratinges the number of tourists who visited onea Caribbean island from 2010 until 2017. It can be clearly seen that the number of visitors to this island increased significantly over the period given wgiven period, despithe some fluctuations. In 2010, approximately 175,000 people visited the Caribbean island. This number of tourists increased steadily over the following three years, reaching a peak of around 250,000 in 2013. However, in 2014, the amountnumber of visitors decreased slightly to just over 210,000., possibly due to external factors such as economic conditions or natural events. From 2014 onwards, the number of tourists visiting the island rose again and, reacheding its highest point in 2017 at nearly 275,000 visitors. Overall, between 2010 and 2017, there was significant growth in tourist numbers on this Caribbean island, with an increase of 100,000 people which is, representsing a rise of more than 50%. In conclusion, the graph shows there was a general trend of increasing tourism on the Caribbean island over the 7seven-year period, despite a small drop in 2014. The number of visitors grew by a substantial amountly from 2010 to 2017, indicating a positive trajectory for the island's tourism sector.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the graph, highlighting the overall trend of increasing tourist numbers with specific data points. Key strengths include a clear structure and appropriate vocabulary. However, critical areas for improvement include providing more detailed comparisons and insights into the fluctuations, particularly in 2014, as well as enhancing the variety of linking phrases for better coherence. Structural changes made include correcting minor grammatical errors and adding a possible reason for the fluctuation in 2014 to enhance analysis. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying the vocabulary used for 'number of tourists' and 'visitors' to avoid repetition and incorporating more complex sentence structures. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining formality and clarity throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and cohesive devices are used appropriately. However, the transition between the years could be smoother, and the use of linking phrases could be more varied to enhance the flow of information.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'the number of tourist' (should be 'tourists') and 'which is represents' (should be 'which represents'), but these do not significantly impede understanding. A wider variety of complex sentences could improve the score.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'significantly,' 'fluctuations,' and 'peak' demonstrating a good range. However, there is some repetition of phrases such as 'number of tourists' and 'visitors,' which could be varied to enhance lexical richness. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary could further elevate the score.
7.5
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the graph, highlighting the overall trend of increasing tourist numbers with specific data points. However, it could improve by providing more detailed comparisons or insights into the fluctuations, particularly in 2014. Including a brief mention of possible reasons for the fluctuations could enhance the analysis.
7.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."