The graph shows the global electricity production by four types of sources from 1991 to 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The line graph demonstrates how electricity was produced globally using four different sources over a period of 18 years, starting from 1991 until 2009. Overall, while thermal power remained the dominant source of electricity generation throughout the period, nuclear and hydroelectric power showed a gradual increase. However, renewable energy sources had the lowest production level, despite showing some improvement in later years. Looking at In terms of specific details, thermal power generation experienced significant growth from approximately 8,000 terawatt hours in 1991 to around 13,000 terawatt hours by 2009. This increase was much more dramatic than that of the other sources. Nuclear power, which was the second most important source, increased slowly from about 2,000 to 2,700 terawatt hours during this time. The h Hydroelectric power production also showed steady growth, rising from roughly 2,000 terawatt hours to reach 3,000 terawatt hours at the end of the period. Meanwhile, renewable energy sources, which include wind and solar power, remained very low in comparison to other sources, but ithey started to show a slight increase after 2000, reaching nearly 500 terawatt hours in 2009. This was still much lower than the other three sources, but the trend was going up.upward. In conclusion, even though all four sources showed some increase over the period, thermal power clearly dominated the electricity production, while renewable energy remained minimal despite recent improvements.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the graph, highlighting the dominance of thermal power and the gradual increases in nuclear and hydroelectric power. The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, providing a good overview of the data presented. Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure with distinct paragraphs and a logical flow of information. The use of relevant vocabulary demonstrates a good understanding of the topic. Critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of analysis by incorporating specific percentages or trends for better comparisons between the sources. Additionally, there were some grammatical errors that needed correction, particularly in subject-verb agreement and pluralization. Structural changes made include correcting the verb form in the introduction, improving transitions between paragraphs, and ensuring consistent pluralization of terms. The phrase 'Looking at specific detail' was replaced with 'In terms of specific details' for better flow. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying vocabulary to reduce repetition and incorporating more cohesive devices to enhance overall coherence. Additionally, the writer could benefit from proofreading to catch minor grammatical errors. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout the essay.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the phrase 'Looking at specific detail' could be replaced with 'In terms of specific details' for better flow. Additionally, using more cohesive devices would enhance the overall coherence of the writing.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors, such as 'demonstrate' instead of 'demonstrates' and 'source' instead of 'sources'. These mistakes affect the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should proofread for subject-verb agreement and ensure correct pluralization, as well as vary sentence structures to showcase grammatical flexibility.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'dominant', 'gradual increase', and 'terawatt hours' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'electricity production' and 'terawatt hours', which could be varied. To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms to enhance lexical diversity.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively summarizes the main features of the graph, highlighting the dominance of thermal power and the gradual increases in nuclear and hydroelectric power. However, the mention of 'renewable energy source' could be more specific, and the overall analysis could benefit from more detailed comparisons between the sources. To improve, the writer could include specific percentages or trends to enhance the depth of analysis.
7.5

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