The graph shows the population of India and China from the year 2000 to the present day with projections for growth to the year 2050.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The grafphic illustrates ofthe population trends in India and China nations, starting in 2000 year until today, and expectation of growingthe year 2000 and extending to the present, along with projections for population growth until 2050the year 2050. Overall, both countries' populations have been increasing in allthroughout the years and will keepare expected to continue growing in the fyuture based on the predictions. In At the beginning of the period, China had significantly more people thean India, with about 1.25 billion compared to around 1 billoion in India. China's population was growing quickly until 2030, when it reached a peak of over 1.4 billion people living there. After this point, it startinged to decline slowly each year until 2050. On the other hand, the population of Indian was increasing inat a faster rate than China's throughout the wholentire time period shown. It keept growing fastrapidly and catchedught up to China's population in 2030 at 1.4 billion people. Different fromUnlike China, India's population did not peak at this point, but kept rising incontinued to rise over the next 20 years, until reaching about 1.6 billion in 2050 based on the forecasts, which is much higher than China's population at that time. In conclusion, both countries hasve seen a significant rise in population inover the past decades and will stillare projected to continue growing in the coming years based on the projections, but. However, India is expectinged to have a much larger population thean China by the year 2050.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing the population trends of India and China from 2000 to 2050. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in presenting the information logically. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the use of more varied vocabulary. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving phrasing for clarity, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include enhancing the variety of cohesive devices and expanding the lexical range to include more sophisticated vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining formality throughout the essay.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents a logical sequence of ideas, but the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For instance, 'In begining of period' should be 'At the beginning of the period.' The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied and sophisticated. To enhance coherence, the writer should use clearer transitions between points.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'both countries has seen' should be 'both countries have seen') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'it starting to decline' should be 'it started to decline'). While there is some range in sentence structures, the frequent errors hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and review sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'grafic', 'cuntries', 'fyture'). While some appropriate terms are used, the overall lexical range is not sufficient for a higher score. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the population trends of India and China from 2000 to 2050. However, it lacks clarity in some areas and contains inaccuracies, such as the phrasing 'expectation of growing population' which could be more formally stated. To improve, the writer should ensure that all statements are precise and supported by data from the graph.
6.0

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