The graphs below show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph displays a survey about the popularity of different free time activityies among adults in eEurope for 1985 and 1995. It shows that reading, watching tvTV, and listenting to the radio were the three most common hobbies during these years. In 1985, watching tvTV was clearly the most popular spare timleisure activity, with 45% of adullt dos engaging in it. Reading books and listening to the radio were second, with around 30% each. Other activities like, such as leisure sports, visiting cafes/restaurants, and going to the cinema, were not as common at, with only about 10-20% of people. participating. In 1995, while watching tvTV remained the most favoured pastime at just over 40% people, reading had dropped significantly to about 22%. On the other hand, visits to cafes and restaurant visits became more enjoyedpopular, with almost 25% of adults now going there in there lieir leisure time. Cinema trips also experienced growth to approximately 17%. Radio listening and leisure sport stays remained stable. Overall, the pastime preferences of eEuropean adults changed between 1985 toand 1995, especially forregarding reading books, visiting cafes/restaurants, and going to the cinema. Watching tvTV remained consistently populare in both the years.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the survey results and makes relevant comparisons between 1985 and 1995, which is a key strength. However, it lacks depth in analysis and could benefit from more specific data points and clearer distinctions between the activities. The flow of ideas has been improved with better sentence construction and the use of cohesive devices. The vocabulary has been enhanced by correcting spelling errors and using more formal phrases, which is crucial for an academic context. The grammatical accuracy has also been addressed by correcting subject-verb agreement and verb forms. For further improvement, the writer could include more detailed comparisons and insights into the trends observed, such as discussing the implications of the changes in leisure activities. Additionally, varying sentence structures could enhance the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. For example, 'Other activities like leisure sport, visiting cafe/restaurant and going to cinema were not as common at only abt 10-20% people' could be rephrased for better clarity. Using more cohesive devices would enhance the overall coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are multiple grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('adullt doing it') and incorrect verb forms ('remaned', 'drop'). These errors affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'popularty', 'activitys', 'adullt', 'lisening') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the use of phrases like 'spare time activity' and 'fav pastime' is somewhat informal for an academic context. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the survey results and making relevant comparisons between 1985 and 1995. However, it lacks depth in analysis and could benefit from more specific data points and clearer distinctions between the activities. For improvement, the writer could include more detailed comparisons and insights into the trends observed.
6.0

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