The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In this essay, I will discuss abouthow the internet how it eaffect ons people's socializeation. I agree that the internet helps us for stay connected with each other, even when we are very far. But in apart. However, at the same time, it isolateds people and stops them from the socialiszing. Firstly, the internet is the best invention of the modern world. It makes the world feel like a small village. We can talk to anyone at any time, no matter where they live in which part offthe world. For example, I am from India and I am living in the USA now. I regularrly talk to my family and friends on the internet. We do video callings and chating. It. This helps me to not to miss them and stay happy. On the other hand, the internet encourages people to not to socialize. If we have the internet, we do not need to go out and meet peoples. We can do all things online, like shopping, gaming, and watching movie etc. Its. This can make us lazy and lonely. For examplinstance, my cousin stays at home all the time and plays online games. He does not have any friends in real life, and he has become depressed. Moreover, internet addiction is a big problem nowadays. Many people spend too much time on social media and neglect theire real-life responsibilities. They compare theire lifves with others and feel bad about themself. It eves. This affects theire mental health and relationships. In conclusion, I believe the internet is a very useful tool for communication, but we need to use it in limitmoderation. We should not forget the importance of face-to-face interaction and spending time with loved ones. We need to find a balance between online and offline life forto stay happy and healthy.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the internet in relation to socialization. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as the inclusion of personal examples that enhance the argument. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the development of ideas. The introduction has been clarified to better state the writer's position, and transitions between paragraphs have been improved for better coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include the use of more varied examples and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall argument. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For example, phrases like 'internet how it effect on people socialize' are unclear. More effective use of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words) would improve the overall clarity and progression of ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('it effect on people socialize'), incorrect verb forms ('it make world like a small village'), and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality of the writing. A greater variety of sentence structures and improved grammatical accuracy would enhance the score.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'internet is best invention' instead of 'the best invention.' Additionally, words like 'shoping' and 'chating' are misspelled. The essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices to convey ideas more effectively.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the internet in relation to socialization. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with examples. For instance, the mention of personal experience is good, but more varied examples could enhance the argument. Additionally, the introduction could be clearer in stating the writer's position.
6.0

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