The line graph below shows the oil production and consumption in China between 1982 and 2006.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The graph is showing about oil use and make in China from 1982 to 2006 year. In beginning, China made more oil than use. Pllustrates oil production and consumption in China from 1982 to 2006. Initially, China produced more oil than it consumed, as the production line iwas higher than the consumption line. But However, over time, use go up fast. Makeconsumption increased rapidly. Production also go uprose, but not as fastquickly. In 1993, the two lines is memet ing in the middle at about 145 units of oil. After this, use is more high than make. Gap gets more big point, consumption surpassed production, and the gap widened each year. By ending, China use muchthe end of the period, China consumed significantly more oil than it produced. In 2006, consume isption reached over 300 units but produce, while production was only around 180 units. The line for use go up very sharp, but make line is moreconsumption rose sharply, whereas the production line remained relatively flat. In summary, China changetransformed from a country that makeproduced enough oil for itself to countryone that must bring in loimport a large amount of oil from other places. As the country groew, it nerequired more oil but can't make enough to match need. Make increase a bit but not as fast as people useould not produce enough to meet this demand. Production increased slightly but not as rapidly as consumption.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the trends in oil production and consumption in China, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task. Key strengths include a logical structure and a coherent flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific data points and a wider range of vocabulary. The structural changes made include correcting awkward phrases and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement, which enhances clarity and grammatical accuracy. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary to elevate the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents a logical sequence of ideas, but the use of cohesive devices is limited and at times awkward. Phrases like 'In beginning' and 'By ending' are not standard English expressions. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'the lines is meeting') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'use go up fast'). The sentence structures are mostly simple and lack variety. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical forms and incorporating more complex sentence structures.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with terms like 'make' and 'use' appearing frequently. There are also instances of incorrect word forms, such as 'make' instead of 'production.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise terminology related to the topic.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the trends in oil production and consumption in China from 1982 to 2006. However, it lacks specific data points and detailed analysis, which are essential for a higher score. To improve, the writer should include more precise figures and a clearer overview of the trends.
5.5

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