The line graph below shows the oil production and consumption in China between 1982 and 2006. You should write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The line graph is showingllustrates the oil production and consumption ofin China from 1982 to 2006. It can be clearly seis evident that both the production and consumption of oil had increased steadily over the period shown. In 1982, the production of oil in China was around 2 million barrels per day and th, while consumption was slightly lower than production at aroundat approximately 1.8 million barrels per day. Over the following years, both the production and consumption increased graduallygradually increased until 1996, when the consumption of oil overtook the production for the first time at, reaching around 4.5 million barrels per day. From 1996 onwards, theoil consumption of oil continued to rise at a faster rate than production, rpeachking a peak oft approximately 7 million barrels per day in 2006. In contrast, theoil production of oil increased at a slower rate during this period and stood, standing at around 3.8 million barrels per day in 2006. In conclusionsummary, the graph showindicates that while both oil production and consumption increased in China grew between 1982 and 2006, consumption grew at a muchescalated at a significantly faster rate than production, particularly after 1996. This trend suggests that China became increasingly dependereliant on oil imports to meetsatisfy its growing energy needemands during this period.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the key trends in oil production and consumption in China, providing relevant data points and highlighting the significant change in consumption overtaking production in 1996. The introduction has been made more concise, and the conclusion now emphasizes the implications of the trends discussed. Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. The use of appropriate vocabulary is also a strong point, although there was some repetition that has been addressed in the revised version. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as minor errors were present in the original text. These have been corrected in the improved version. Additionally, the use of varied cohesive devices has been enhanced to improve the flow between ideas. The structural changes made include a more concise introduction and a refined conclusion that better encapsulates the implications of the data. Transition phrases have been adjusted for smoother coherence. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource. Additionally, varying the phrasing of key terms could further improve the overall quality of the writing. The tone used in the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is adequate, but there are moments where transitions could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'In contrast' could be replaced with a more varied cohesive device to enhance flow. Overall, the coherence is good, but slight improvements in linking ideas could elevate the score.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several minor errors, such as 'steadly' (steadily) and 'prodution' (production). These errors do not significantly impede understanding, but they do detract from the overall accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to showcase grammatical range.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'production,' 'consumption,' and 'overtook' being relevant. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'oil production and consumption,' which could be varied. Incorporating synonyms or more sophisticated vocabulary could enhance the lexical range and flexibility.
7.0
Task Achievement
The response effectively addresses the task by summarizing the key trends in oil production and consumption in China from 1982 to 2006. It provides relevant data points and highlights the significant change in consumption overtaking production in 1996. However, the introduction could be more concise, and the conclusion could further emphasize the implications of the trends discussed.
7.5

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