The line graph shows the percentage of Australian exports with four countries from 1990 to 2012.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The line garaph illustrates how muchthe percentage of exports from Australia going to four different countries between the years 1990 and 2012. oOverall, the biggest change was seen in China's export percentage, while all other countries stayremained relatively stable or declined over the 22-year period. In 1990, Japan recieived the highest share of around 27% of all Australian exports. However, by 2012, this figured hasd dropped significantly to just over 15%. A similar trend can been seen with New Zealand and Korea's export percentages. New Zealand started at about 8% in 1990 but gradually decreased to around 5% by the end of the period. Korea also experienced a decline from 6% down to 4% over the years. China, on the other hand, saw a drammatic increase in it's share of exports from Australia. In 1990, it was only 2%, the lowest among the four nations. ButHowever, this grew steadily over time, surpassing Korea in the late 90s, and then overtaking New Zealand in the mid-2000s. By 2012, China accounted for nearly 30% of Australia's exports, becoming the largesst export destination out of the countries shown, growing by almost 14 times its initial level. In conclusion, the data shows a clear shift in Australia's export focus from traditionnal partners like Japan and New Zealand, towards emerging economyies like China, which became the dominant export market by the end of the period.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by summarizing key trends in Australian exports to the four countries over the specified period. Key strengths include a clear identification of trends and a logical structure. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more precise figures in the conclusion and better cohesion between sentences. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving verb tense consistency, and enhancing transitions between paragraphs. Further improvements could involve incorporating more varied vocabulary and ensuring a more detailed comparison of the countries' export percentages. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked to enhance flow. For example, the transition between discussing Japan and New Zealand could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'in contrast' or 'similarly,' would improve the overall cohesion.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are multiple errors in verb tense and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this figured has dropped,' 'Korea also experience a decline'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct verb forms and ensuring subject-verb agreement throughout the text.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'garph,' 'bigest,' 'recieved,' 'gradualy,' 'drammatic,' 'it's,' 'largesst,' 'traditionnal,' 'perod') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should proofread for spelling and consider using a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the key trends in Australian exports to the four countries over the specified period. However, it lacks some detail and clarity in presenting the data, such as specific percentages for Korea and New Zealand in the conclusion. To improve, the writer could include more precise figures and a clearer comparison of the countries.
6.0

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